Question: Before we attain love is it necessary to attain hatred regarding a friend? What is this hatred in spirituality?
Answer: We never yearn to discover hatred. In no way or manner! Not in a family, not at home, not with the children, not with anyone!
We don’t need to yearn for anything bad! Only through yearning for good can we understand our true nature. By trying to love a friend, we begin to discover that we hate him. Therefore on the path to “And you shall love your friend as yourself,” we discover big problems. And all the time by overcoming them, we fall into hatred again.
If you want to know your nature, you need to direct yourselves only towards love, which is to say, to be incorporated maximally with the other: “What do you want? What are you missing in order to attain the goal?” You try to push him towards this goal, even though you yearn for it yourself. It is not according to your egoistic calculations; rather, it is specifically because he wants this.
By trying to do everything for the sake of a friend artificially, you begin to discover that you hate him: “Why do I need to help him? How can I wish that he achieve this? Where am I in all this?” The hatred appears here very quickly and we need to work on it.
But this first discovery of true hatred beyond the efforts that we made in approaching each other, this is already spiritual hatred. This is not as it is in our world. In our world we don’t take positive or negative emotions into account.
Everything that is in our world comes to a person through his ego, so we don’t take this into account in the spiritual world. And working on approaching the friends in a group, to the degree of our effort to approach them, to fulfill them, and to elevate them, we begin to see how much we are completely the opposite of this; this is our work. And hatred will appear there and this will already be spiritual. All spirituality is attained only beyond yearning for unity—solely and only—both positively and negatively.
From the Preparation for the Convention in Krasnoyarsk 6/13/13