Question: Where is the point from which my freewill begins? What does it include? How do I see the world through it? How do I divide things into important and unimportant, major or trivial, how do I arrange my priorities?
Answer: Freewill begins from a point called the “root of the soul.” This is where the soul begins. So the search for this point is the main thing and we go through it and learn during the preparation period.
The clarification of the point of freewill is possible only when we reach the first level of bestowal, the lowest one. Then we begin to understand what we have to choose and from what. After all, we always choose between two options. If we had to choose between two identical things we wouldn’t be able to choose. It would be hard to make a choice so we won’t decide. We have to find a defect or an advantage in one compared to the other.
So freewill is only possible if I choose the attribute of bestowal instead of the attribute of receiving. If I can tell the difference between these two attributes and decide that I definitely prefer the attribute of bestowal rather than the attribute of receiving, then according to this scale I will already be able to start clarifying what is better and what is worse in every aspect.
This means that first, in order to choose freely, I have to be free of my desire to enjoy and to know what to choose: the attribute of bestowal, and to know that I should choose it at every moment. This determines my level. So every time I choose the attribute of bestowal instead of the attribute of receiving, I advance. This is the only thing I should do.
But the first point of freewill in which we exit exile and become “a free nation in our country,” which means in our desire, free of our ego, appears at the moment a person transcends the Machsom, the barrier to the spiritual world. Until then it’s the time of preparation.
After we transcend the Machsom, we also advance in an “unsown path” that goes through the desert and then we choose the Land of Israel, which means that we want to reach the desire that is aimed straight to the Creator (Yashar El), and is totally in order to bestow. But we still don’t feel benefit and advancement. These are the “forty years of wandering in the desert,” although it seems that it’s possible to cross it on foot in a week, like the Sinai desert. Why should we wander in it for forty years?
This time is essential until a person attains all the discernments inside him and can choose the desire to bestow called “the Land of Israel,” instead of the egoistic desire called “Egypt,” in a state that is called a “desert” for him. In the meantime nothing attracts him to bestowal. After he enters the Land of Israel, he encounters greater problems. After all, the desire to enjoy begins to receive spiritual pleasures there and he has to overcome them so that he can receive in order to bestow.
To sum up, the meaning of freewill is to what extent a person always prefers “faith above reason,” which means the attribute of bestowal over the attribute of receiving.
In corporeality it’s expressed in constantly seeing the revelation of the Creator in every state I go through. After all, He gave me these feelings and He presents to me the world around me. He plays with me from both directions, both from within and from the outside, and leaves me only one point of freewill in order that I correctly stabilize my attitude in the internal world He has imprinted in me towards the external world, so that He can be revealed. Eventually I have to connect myself and the external world in order to reach the one and unique form called “There is none else besides Him.”
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/27/12, Shamati #113