Answer: People prefer to rely on themselves, since they are used to implementing their habitual egoistic approaches. Because of the egoistic desire, one doesn’t appeal to the upper Light that Reforms, but thinks that he will earn everything by using his own knowledge and efforts. We tend to think that we are clever and strong enough to overcome all impediments and get a reward without outside help.
We think we don’t need the upper force, the Creator. When we feel powerful, we neglect to maintain connection with the upper force, even if we presume that it exists. One begins to imagine one’s association with the upper force only when facing threats in this world or fearing punishment after death in a future world, that is, only when one can’t cope on their own.
If a person is confident that he will succeed and fill his egoistic desires on his own, he won’t strive to attain the upper force. But, when the spark that is part of the upper Light awakens in a person, he feels that it cannot be fulfilled unless he is connected with the upper force, which gives him additional fulfillment.
The spark is not just a particle of Light from above that was cut off and placed in me. This spark is the faintest illumination of the Light, the Creator that descended within a person: the beginning of the revelation of the Creator in me. This is the beginning of man (Adam) within us, similar to (Domeh) to the Creator.
The spark needs to be connected to the desire to enjoy, so they are brought into harmony by establishing the correct connection between them. This is what we have to work on until the Creator completely reveals Himself to us and not just a tiny spark; in other words, instead of a small desire to be pleased, we should find great aspiration, and both should reach complete adhesion.
A tiny part of the Creator is disclosed within us: This is called a spiritual awakening, a spark. A small portion of the great desire to enjoy wakes up all my earthly passions for food, sex, family, wealth, power, and knowledge.
The difference between my natural desire and the spark is that the desire to be pleased demands that we fulfill ourselves for our own sake, whereas the spark requires fulfilling others, bestowal. They contradict each other, and so a person first loses his head when he first senses the spark.
A person feels the split because the desire to be pleased pulls him into this world with all its egoistic pleasures, while the spark of bestowal carries us in a completely different dimension, although we do not know where or what it is. At this point, we stop caring about this world and become totally attracted to something more lofty and unearthly.
Eventually, the spark leads us to a special place where we can realize it, that is, to the place where the Creator’s desire reveals itself with greater force. The place is called a Kabbalistic group.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/6/12, Shamati #21