We see that in their explanations Kabbalists always return to the same principles. There aren’t many rules in spirituality. One and the same state of ascents and descents, as well as their reasons, comes back to us in different ways, but essentially, it’s the same principle all the time. We don’t receive a new force until we reach a true deficiency.
A servant of the Creator is a person who constantly looks for new ways to come closer to Him. This coming closer involves the acquisition of a new vessel, the desire to bestow, which goes against our desire.
A person who begins to study doesn’t really understand yet what “for” or “against” the desire means. It goes on until he begins to see that to acquire spirituality is actually both easy and difficult. A lot of time passes until he begins to hear what it is about.
It is a kind of latent, internal period that transpires secretly within, whereby a person participates in spiritual work rather passively. He still imagines spirituality as something pleasant to his egoism, an acquisition that will give him knowledge, greater power over others, and will fulfill his desires. This is actually what he comes for, having lost his hope to fill himself in this world. This is why he decides to receive spiritual fulfillment.
Everyone thinks that way. Otherwise, why study? This is how it is arranged from Above, by nature, so as to attract a person. And even if you tell a person something else, he doesn’t hear you. But this beneficial lie holds a person during this period in the feeling that he is about to acquire more and more in his desire to receive, in his ego. He doesn’t really hear what he is being told, and although he repeats the words “the desires of bestowal,” “faith above reason,” he does not truly realize what it is.
He ascribes to these notions his own internal interpretation, and he is unable to perceive otherwise. This goes on until eventually, thanks to the study of the wisdom of Kabbalah and some light blows here and there, he begins to somehow understand the true meaning of such concepts like the desire to bestow, love of the other, and rising above egoistic goals.
He begins to hear more and is ready to reach bestowal. First, it is a general, theoretical agreement, something abstract: bestowal upon the whole world, humanity, the Creator… These concepts are rather vague; they are distant from a person himself, his circle, and actual realization.
This is why he is ready “to bring contentment upon his Maker.” But when it comes to practical actions and him needing “to love the other,” the friends, he is not ready for that. Again, a lot of work is needed here.
And again the upper Light operates upon him, changing his vessels, until he actually begins to hear that bestowal is realized within the group. The Creator demands that we actually realize the love of others, as much as we can.
This is of course a lie, but it’s a start. By that a person becomes a servant of the Creator—if he actually performs actions that eventually lead to the desire to bestow. Of course, a person does not create this desire to bestow himself, it is not a direct consequence of his actions. He as if plants the seeds and sees that nothing sprouts. And then again he starts with no results, which brings him many disappointments.
At the same time he sometimes sees some partial success: a bit more understanding and feeling. Eventually, however, he comes to “those who sow in tears” and sees that his work doesn’t really lead to anything but the demand, a request, a prayer, to the Creator. When he comes to this state, it is called “a prayer of the many,” and it opens up the gate of Heaven. All the gates are closed except for the gate of tears, which opens up. This is what a person discovers.
“Gates” (“Shearim” in Hebrew, comes from the same root as the word “assumed” – “Meshuar”) and indicates the way a person imagines the expected reward. He wants to receive something in all these gates, anything but bestowal, and about bestowal he cries only because it is clear to him that he cannot reach it by himself. He also doesn’t really want to attain it until he understands its importance.
So a person actually sheds a lot of tears until he builds the gate of tears, until he finally finishes building it by wanting bestowal and not being able to reach it. And this is why he is forced to turn to the Creator. Until this time he had no need for Him, but now he sees that the Creator is necessary.
So as a result, he wants bestowal and he can receive it only from the Creator. He comes to all this in the group because it’s impossible otherwise, and then he “reaps the fruit.” The Light that Reforms comes and connects him with the friends, and within them the Creator becomes revealed. Then a person “rejoices” in the fruit of his spiritual work. This is the path of the Creator’s servant.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/27/2012, Writings of Rabash