When a person despairs from his life, he begins to search for a way to justify his existence, for a reason life is worth living. Actually, what motivates him is the ego, the pride that hides within, which demands an explanation: How do I exist if it’s not worthwhile living?
I must find something to exist for. Everyone, constantly, searches for this justification for himself. It doesn’t matter who he is. The pride from the feeling that he is a person, derives from the point of creation itself, “Something from nothing,” from the contradiction of the “something” and this “nothing.”
This brings him to search for the meaning to which accordingly he chooses the way of life, the profession, and the style of behavior at each moment. This point motivates him during each moment of his life. And when this question becomes real, then the person finds the wisdom of Kabbalah, and enters the influence of the Light that reforms and begins to develops.
This first question: “What am I living for,” “Is life worthwhile living,” “How can I justify my existence,” matures into a very clear question about the meaning of life. And then a person begins to study, is included in a group, and receives the books and the teacher.
And gradually he begins to feel that he is in concealment. It is as if something is hidden from him, even though he doesn’t understand what concealment and disclosure are. He simply feels changes in his mood in relation to others, in measures of patience and annoyance, as much as he understands or not until he finds himself in a fog and is confused. In this way these states change within him.
And of course, the relation to life is constantly changing. Sometimes he feels that it is worthwhile to exist, that life is shining on him to the point that he is ready to sing from happiness, and sometimes he feels the opposite. All of this is the work of the Light that awakens and moves the person and in this way builds in him the spiritual Kelim (vessels, desires).
And the Kli is measured according to the size of the gap between the highest and lowest points in relation to the feeling, the understanding, recognition, and values from how the person examines the closeness or distance of the desired goal.
Thus he progressively advances. In the beginning he evaluates his state only according to his mood, if it is good or bad. And later, he already begins to examine it according to more accurate criterion: how much he succeeded in understanding and feeling, more or less. The mood doesn’t worry him so much, but the most important thing is to understand, to feel and to advance. The truth becomes for us more important than the pleasure.
In this way he advances, until he feels himself in double concealment.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/7/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”