The difference between male and female, between the Creator and the creature, is their oppositeness. We don’t even understand these contradictions. Whatever is natural for the male, can be expressed in the nature of the creature only in the intention, which he gained through his efforts.
The nature of the Creator (Zeir Anpin) is bestowal, and in the creature (Nukva) bestowal can only be in the intention. And if this intention is correct, then the bestowal occurs by the fact that it receives, and the more the better.
That being the case, the spiritual Kli (vessel) that we must develop is found above the desire, in intention. Thus, we don’t understand how it is possible to calculate it.
When a person begins to study, after a certain time he sees that there is a mountain before him and on its peak is the temple of the Creator, the place he must reach. However, the more he advances towards this, the more he is rejected by it and the more confused he becomes. In this way, the knowledge of the Torah is opposite to the knowledge of the landlords. Indeed, whoever advances with the help of his ego constantly strengthens his powers, his knowledge, his security, his understanding, and he feels more support.
However, whoever really tries to climb the mountain of the Creator needs to detach more and more from the stable ground, thus he experiences more confusion and lack of understanding. He needs to accept this rejection specifically as assistance that he needs in order to build his spiritual vessel, the female, Nukva, to be similar to bestowal, the male, the Creator, making an example of Him.
The difficulty in real advancement is that it isn’t compatible with our common understanding, but demands from us to convince ourselves and to accept the conditions placed on man by the Creator. It is the only way to progress.
Therefore, on the way to the temple, uncompromising guards and police constantly appear with greater strength and power, and they throw a person from the height he has reached. Indeed, each time a person reaches some kind of change in himself, he begins to understand it. This understanding destroys his spiritual vessel because it lies entirely in faith above reason! Understanding erases it.
And in order to help us not to get caught up in our knowledge, but to advance more and more in faith above it, we are thrown from the mountain and are forced to begin again from zero. But each time we reach a greater height. This means that we are able to renounce our ego, in one way or another, with the help of the Light that reforms.
Thus, until there is nothing left for the person and he completely rises above his desire to receive, he will reach real devotion. Then his desire (feminine Nukva) will invert from its outer form to be completely similar to the male nature, to the inner attribute of the Creator, and will merge the male and the female. Our desire will externally clothe in the Creator.
The ascension is concealed with subjugating ourselves and receiving the form of bestowal. If I am prepared for anything that comes to me from Him and agree to annul myself, then I can become His outermost clothing. And then from Him will come bestowal in the form of the surrounding Light and will begin to build me anew. This is what is spoken about, when each day the Nukva becomes a virgin again, and the Creator builds from it a new Kli. This means that the form of bestowal builds from a person the desire that is suitable to it, the correct intention.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/17/12, Writings of Rabash