Suddenly we begin to lack bestowal! We constantly strove only for material goods: money, power, knowledge, food, sex, and family. However, we do not wish to desire that any longer—only as much as we need for survival since we are living in this world. The most important thing, however, is to achieve the state that we desired in the world of Nekudim before we broke. That is, the key for us is complete correction. And in order for that to occur, we need the same Light to correct us.
If this request emerges in the same desires and they are able to raise it upward, then in response they receive the Light that was present in them and vanished. In fact, it is called the Light that Reforms.
So why didn’t it reform us before? It is because before we had not discovered yet that we need correction. And now we are saying that first and foremost we wish to be corrected, and we do not wish to receive the Light for our own gratification. We wish to enjoy giving!
Then too we desired bestowal, but now we realized what we truly lack: to attain the essence of bestowal, the screen, and the connection with the One who bestows. You think that you are just spending time with friends, eating and dancing together with them. However, by so doing you are activating a broken system, and it begins to work on and affect you while you are eating, dancing, and jumping around.
It doesn’t even matter what you do. It can happen so that while you dance, you activate the system more effectively than while you study. Everything depends on whether a need for the Light arises in you, influences you, becomes the inner Light for you, and does something to you.
And after this Light affects you time after time in accordance with how much you rouse it, your broken desires begin to slowly absorb this Light and gradually reach a level where they can receive an intention to bestow from the Light. The Light can already establish contact with them because there comes a moment when they suddenly stop opposing it. Childbirth, whereby an infant comes out of the mother, is the moment that it begins to correspond to the world that exists outside of the mother.
The Light continues to affect us, cleansing and correcting us until we become capable to come into the first contact with it. There comes a moment when we no longer run away from bestowal; we stop hating and are able to tolerate it.
It is suffering; after all, a child also screams as it is born. He feels poorly, the situation is tragic for him, but he is able to tolerate it already.
For a child it happens due to nature. But in our case, the Light gives us such forces that in spite of feeling bad (since bestowal is directed against our egoism), we are able to tolerate it. Thus we enter the next stage: With our point in the heart, we rise from the material to the spiritual world. Now comes the time of correction.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/22/2011, “Introduction to TES”