A spark of bestowal is attached to my huge ego, a tiny spark above this entire mountain. This spark is only there on condition that I raise it above the ego, that is, want my head to be in the clouds. So, how do I tear away from the egoism and be in this spark instead of being inside the huge ego, the traits, desires, habits, and upbringing that make up the whole of me?
Of course, this is impossible; everyone sees this. A person finds that he is completely incapable, yet he understands that he must achieve the purpose of life. He does not wish to die an animal! He wants to reveal the spiritual world, to attain the meaning of life, and to feel the entire universe. He does not agree to waste his entire life and die as an animal, with no reward, goal, knowledge, meaning, understanding, or love.
So, how can I break out of this cycle? I want all of this egoistically, but even so, I am unable to maintain these thoughts. Everyday life is burying me under its weight, and even egoistically it will not allow me to think about the spiritual reward, to look even slightly above this world.
It is written that “a prisoner cannot release himself from prison.” In other words, I am unable to pull myself up by the hair from the swamp that I am in. However, I must exert as much effort as possible and try to do this many times in order to understand that I must unite with the environment.
This is possible only on condition that I see that nothing can help me. I will continue to live this dog’s life until I die, devoid of any satisfaction, love or meaning, and without having achieved even one of my egoistic goals. Only if I try all possible means will I achieve such pain.
No special intelligence or ability is required, only stubbornness. As it is said: “Do whatever you want, but don’t leave.” You will reach complete disappointment in your strength and realize that only the group can help you. That’s your only hope. No one else can save you. Your refined feelings, mind, experience, education, money, and strength are nothing! You just need the group.
I see that I have done everything I could with my strength, money, mind, desires, traits, and habits. I have tried thousands of different things, and nothing has helped. I have completely lost hope in them. The only thing that remains is for me to change myself. Instead of everything I have, let the group come and fill me. Let it give me its desires, thoughts, intelligence, feelings, mind, and heart—everything! Let the group even transplant my organs; if I stay with what I have, I will end my life as an animal.
If I reach this kind of despair, this is the start of unification with the group. This great achievement comes only after completely despairing in my own strength. I can see that nothing helps. Thus, I am willing to rise above myself to the place where my friends are situated, to the heart and the mind of the group.
Now, everyone understands that nothing else can help him, and he must depend on the others. Mutual guarantee is our salvation. If the friends leave me, I am finished. It is as if they are holding me up over an abyss. If they stop holding me up, I will fall into it. I depend on them 100%. My spiritual life and death are in the group’s hands.
In this situation, a person certainly requires mutual guarantee and is willing to go for it. He is willing to pay for it with all the strength that he has. He is willing to give to the group, support it, and sacrifice everything just so that the group would hold him up.
It turns out that the individual spiritual life of every person depends on the group, and the group includes everyone. That is what we call mutual help. Everyone must give to the group, and this group must support everyone. This is the mutual guarantee.
Mutual guarantee does not exist among individuals. The group is a higher concept, not our interaction at our level.
From Lesson 2, Arvut Convention in the Arava Desert 11/18/2011