Love Is Not Leniency

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: How does one bestow upon the world?

Answer: You take the desires of everyone and fill them as much as you can. That is called love. That is the act of love.

Question: Which desires do I take?

Answer: If you love them, you fill only their necessary desires. You won’t buy unhealthy food for your child. You buy him something tasty, but the main thing is that it is healthy.

Question: But what if he specifically wants fast food?

Answer: If you love, you can’t fill the desires that are bad for him. After all, you wouldn’t give your son a knife to play with if he asked for one. Isn’t that the same thing as fast food?

A true relationship, a real love, hardens you. The pity you feel now is actually egoistic pity; you feel sorry for yourself, not him. If you really had pity for him, you would give only what is healthy for him, only that which benefits his development and nothing else.

The child will get used to this very quickly. If you behave this way from the beginning, he won’t even ask you for things that are harmful.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/26/2011, “The Love for the Creator and Love for the Created Beings”

Related Material:
Creation Starts Here And Now
From Grades To Values
To Give Does Not Mean to Impose


  1. Thank you for clarifying this. This is true for kids. And, adults too. Often I get asked for things emotionally from others that are beyond necessary emotional stuff. And, everytime I’ve given into the wrong kind of pity, I’ve paid for it dearly and suffered for it. So, I learned and don’t do it anymore. But, thanks for pointing out that it is really me giving pity to myself. Good insight.

  2. How do I tell what a person needs and what he doesn’t need?

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