Love: A Habit And Impulse Disorder?
Report (World Health Organization, Classification of Mental and Behavioral Disorders): In the report, love seems to fall under the category of “F63 Habit and impulse disorders” defined as follows: “This category includes certain behavioral disorders that are not classifiable under other rubrics. They are characterized by repeated acts that have no clear rational motivation and that generally harm the patient’s own interests and those of other people. The patient reports that the behavior is associated with impulses to action that cannot be controlled.
The causes of these conditions are not understood; the disorders are grouped together because of broad descriptive similarities, not because they are known to share any other important features.”
My Comment: There is no love, but only a desire to enjoy the other, and if it suppresses other desires, it is a real mental disorder. Love is not when you want to enjoy someone, but when you desire to please him or her, without any connection to you.
In this case, you have to first free yourself completely from thoughts about yourself, feel the desires of the other objectively, and fill them absolutely selflessly, that is, without any result for yourself. The test of a genuine feeling of selfless love is that you completely distance yourself from the fulfillment of another person and grant it to a stranger, so much so that nobody even knows about you.
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I always thought this too was a good test, because if you give to a stranger, then you know you won’t get anything in return. When giving to friends and family, it can’t always be certain you aren’t getting something back. And, a lot of times people think that they only want to know or hang out with someone based on how they themselves can enjoy it or what they get out of it. But, thankfully, we don’t have to look at people this way.
Bestowal is Love!
Thank you and warmest aloha, Rav.