Answer: As we know, Malchut should cancel itself before Zeir Anpin (ZA). Then, ZA accepts its desire, and their desires rise together to the mother, to Bina. In response, Bina has to give Zeir Anpin an adult state (so that ZA grows up) as well as the Light for Malchut.
This is what the giver attains. If you ever really want to give to your friend, you will get twice as much. What you give him will create an adult state in you, a higher status, so that you produce your friend’s degree and give it to him.
For him, you will be great spiritually; you will be the giver. In this role, you receive new desires from him, and from Above, you get fulfillment. Thus, you constantly “expand” by receiving desires from others and the Light from Above.
This is what it means to be the giver. However, you “expand” in your vessels of bestowal. Here, a psychological transformation is hidden. How can you grow bigger in bestowal? Where is the profit? How do I fulfill myself? What fills me up?
Our problem is that we do not feel much gain in the vessels of bestowal. But this is obvious from the graph.
From the 5th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/27/2011, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”