Do not imagine the Creator to be somewhere far, in some far-off worlds, existing separately from you. Everything only exists within our desire; everything becomes revealed within us.
It only seems to us that the entire reality, beside for us, exists somewhere on the outside and is divided into the layers of the still, vegetative, animate, and speaking nature, which are either closer to or distant from us. But all of this exists within our desire.
It only seems to a person as if it were not his, as if it were foreign, and this confusion is given to him intentionally, as a consequence of the breaking. But as he begins to work on attaining bestowal, he gradually, to the extent of his readiness to bestow and sacrifice his egoism, starts to sense these parts of the universe that appeared to be foreign and external to him: the still nature, plants, animals, and people.
Evidently, everything belongs to him, and it only appeared to be foreign to him due to his ruined perception.
This way the Creator awakens a person with His invitations and stings at any opportunity, and the person becomes more sensitive to responding to bestowal. He only needs to carry out the instructions with more precision. This is why the Torah is called an “instruction” (Oraa) so we could use all the means given to us in this world (the teacher, the study, and the group) and transcend it.
It doesn’t matter that one does not understand what he is doing or that he just tries like a small child playing a game. If he really desires to attain spirituality and is prepared to cancel himself before the teacher, the group, and the study in order to change with their help and become manageable clay in their hands, he will begin to feel the changes happening within him.
A person does not know where they come from. Kabbalists say that they come from the Surrounding Light. But we do not perceive the Surrounding Light because it does not become the Inner one, and we only notice its influence by the results. We suddenly begin to understand and feel more; we become prepared to be closer to bestowal, the teacher, and the group.
This is how the Surrounding Light operates, and everything depends on our sensitivity to the changes we must receive. I must desire for them to happen directly within me, within my desire, for the Creator’s image, the image of the giver to dress itself in me, and for my desire to receive pleasure to acquire the form of bestowal.
And so I will attain adhesion: I will sense how I merge with the Creator inside of myself. But I connect with the Creator and exist within Him, and the Creator exists within me. This is why He is called the Creator (Bo-Reh) or “come and see.”
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/8/2011, Writings of Rabash
We do not need anything else but trepidation, which is the proper attitude towards the Creator. One’s work begins when one becomes able to distinguish between “sanctity” (bestowal) and “impurity” (Klipa, egoism).
To be in sanctity means to constantly worry about the Creator supporting us and allowing us to keep the correct attitude towards His revelation, towards the expression of His love towards us. This concern must constantly dominate a person because if he was to break and leave this concern for a certain second, during a certain state on this path, he would immediately fall into egoism, Klipa.
He would begin to use the Creator’s kind and loving attitude towards him for the sake of his own benefit. When he desires to enjoy the Creator’s love for his own sake even for a second, this already is Klipa.
But when he fears whether he will be able to turn the entire revelation of the Giver’s love into a reciprocal attitude towards Him in order to return the same kind of love and bestowal to Him, this is “sanctity.” This way a person raises himself to a level of “sanctity and impurity” determined by his ability to accept the Creator’s love. When he only does this out of fear for returning the same attitude, this is called bestowal, “sanctity.” But when he himself wants to enjoy the Creator’s love, he considers this an “impure desire,” Klipa.
This is called the “screen,” which he always must preserve over him and concern himself with accepting the revelation of Light, the Creator, only in the “Reflected Light.” This Reflected Light determines the degree of “fear.”
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/6/2011, Shamati No.38
We are unable to understand what the intention “for the sake of bestowal” (Lishma) is since we are always in the desire to enjoy, opposite to bestowal. And what seems to be bestowal to us in this world is just another form of egoism pretending to bestow so that when we give to someone, we indirectly receive even more from them.
And that is why we do not understand the meaning of “Lishma,” complete bestowal without any profit for oneself. Baal HaSulam says in Shamati No. 5 (“Lishma Is an Awakening from Above, and Why Do We Need an Awakening from Below”) that it is not for the human mind to grasp how such a thing can happen in the world.
Also when a person is really working to reach bestowal, he begins to understand how unrealistic this goal is. How is it possible to stop thinking about oneself, to receive a thought, action, or desire which is directed to the “outside,” without caring about one’s own benefit? This is because one is only able to understand that he will attain something by engaging in Torah and Mitzvot. There must be self-gratification there; otherwise one is unable to do anything.
Instead, this is an illumination that comes from Above, and only one who tastes it (receives from Above) can know and understand what he has received. And therefore there is nothing to go by before this, not a simple understanding or even a slight perception of what bestowal, “Lishma,” is.
It is written about it, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” This means that first one needs to “taste,” to receive a sensation, and then one can understand.
Why then should we invest our effort and work to implement the recommendations of Kabbalists if nothing will help until the Creator gives us the other nature? Isn’t it easier to wait until you receive it?
The answer is, as our sages said, “It is not for you to complete the work, and you are not free to idle away from it.” This means that one must give the awakening from below since this is discerned as a prayer. A prayer is considered a deficiency, and without deficiency there is no fulfillment. We need to obtain a desire suitable for filling with the quality of bestowal.
But how can I ask for something that I’ve never tried or needed, something I do not have, and I know absolutely nothing about? It follows, that one’s work is needed to receive the Lishma from the Creator only in the form of a lack and a Kli (vessel). Yet, one can never attain the fulfillment alone; it is rather a gift from God.
However, the prayer must be a whole prayer, that is, from the bottom of the heart. This means that a person knows one hundred percent that there is no one in the world who can help him but the Creator Himself. Meaning that a person needs to invest all of his efforts to not receive anything, to arrive at a broken heart. Only then will he finally hear the desperation inside from all the efforts that he invested and realize that only the Creator can help him. And then the Creator hears his prayer.
See how much effort and frustration is needed in order to move from state to state, to attain a deeper understanding that I cannot, I am unable to, I do not want to! And thus, I descend step by step, penetrating ever deeper into the heart, until I reach the true prayer.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/5/2011, Shamati #5