Even if you still don’t have a screen or a desire to bestow, but want the desire to do so, then you can try to instill your point in the heart inside spirituality and attach it to the Upper Level. That is how you will become as a drop of spiritual semen placed into the mother’s womb, the AHP of the Upper Level. By desiring to be there in order for the Upper One to raise you, you will start developing as a spiritual embryo.
You have to cancel yourself and desire to turn into a tunnel through which the Light will flow onto the whole world. In this way you become a conduit and not an obstacle for the Light. Right now you are locked inside yourself, and you have to open yourself up! This revelation happens with the help of the Light, Ohr Makif.