A question I received: The first revelation of evil (egoism) and the perception of the property of the Creator which follows it are very powerful. When you experience this for the first time you start running after your Beloved nonstop. But as time goes by and you put the needed amount of efforts into it (and maybe even more), this quality gradually disappears. You start to relax and to doubt that it ever happened.
How do you reveal the evil of the following degree? How do you avoid becoming relaxed? How do you follow the Creator’s desire and keep advancing? If one was brought into this world and “awakened,” then this couldn’t have happened in vain. One can’t continue living like before. So how do you “climb” out of this world again? I would really like to receive an answer to my question, even though you have said many times that one attains the real answer in his soul.
My Answer: You have described everything correctly and vividly. Previously you were not advancing by your own efforts, but by the desire that you received from above – the point in the heart. However, now in order to develop this point into the ten Sefirot and to perceive the Upper Light or the Upper World in the ten Sefirot, you have to make your own efforts. Now you will have to go through the exhausting period of accumulating efforts and perceptions, and of self analysis. The only things that can help are:
- Exaltation of the goal
- The realization of your inability to change on your own
- Confidence in the Light of Correction.
All of these can only be received from the right environment (see Baal HaSulam’s article “The Freedom”).