Question: How can the desire to receive bestow?
Answer: A person has a chance to work with his desire to receive in order to bestow for the good of others. In our world, there are situations in which I feel that I depend on someone, and then I try to make him happy either for my own benefit or to avoid troubles.
I also may perceive the other as part of myself if it is my child or a beloved person. Then, by making him happy, it is as if I make myself happy and even more.
This is one of the forms of the influence of the upper Light, which brings us the right feeling. On the other hand, if the Light disappears, a person sinks to the bottom of his existence, losing all contact, and any sense of belonging even to people who are closest to him.
When the feeling of closeness is taken from us, we are left with the desire to receive by itself without any sentiments. Then, I don’t take anything into account except for any possible damage that I may cause myself. At the same time, the upper Light can influence me in such a way that I suddenly will feel a quantum leap and will want the other to feel good, not because I will benefit from it, not egoistically, but I simply want him to feel good.
How can that be? We don’t know, but Kabbalists tell us about this. They also say that we all should reach this feeling: “You have no other choice, and, if you don’t listen to us, you will experience great suffering, so you will want it one way or the other.”
Only the upper Light can provide me with a new, altruistic attitude toward others. I can never acquire it by myself.
– “So let the Light influence me!” I am told.
– “No, it will influence only if you want it to.”
– “But how can I want it if I am an egoist?”
This is why you were given a “point in the heart” in addition to your desire to receive, a grain of understanding. I admit that bestowal is special, and this candle, which you didn’t light by yourself, burns within you and evokes you.
Besides that, the upper Light flows upon this point or this candle, bringing you to the group, to the study, and placing you in such an environment that enables you to resemble the actions of bestowal, the forms of bestowal. Like a small child who imitates the grown ups, you were given a bit of a desire, so use it.
By that, you will summon the Light that will influence you more strongly, and you will suddenly acquire new attributes. Then, the other, which is the friends, humanity, nature, and the Creator, will become more important that your own self.
The Light does all that if we raise a request for correction and do “good deeds,” which means that we play together in bestowal as if we want it and, by that, reach a prayer, a demand: “We have done so much, and where is the result?” Then, we begin to pray, understanding that only the Light can give us the form of bestowal, and so we advance.
Today, you have no connection to bestowal except for this game. In order to bestow upon the Light, we must resemble it, which is possible only by connection and unity in the group. This is the only form of bestowal that you can express and exhibit in our world in order to resemble the Light and to summon its influence upon you.
– “Okay, we are holding hands. We really want to unite. What’s next?”
This isn’t enough. You don’t connect like a football team; you want to feel the need for bestowal. You lower your heads before one another and unite. What is this for? It is in order to reach the One who bestows.
In order to do that, you should know that you must have the right attitude toward Him. So, please, take a book and read about how to do that. If you want to be big, read what the big ones have written, what they do, and how they prepare their actions of bestowal upon the Creator.
If you really want that, play at it like a child who wishes to resemble a grown-up. Unite with the friends equally by wanting to reach mutual guarantee and as an expression of mutual bestowal. Yearn upward for bestowal upon the Creator, use the sources, and advance together toward the goal.
Then, you will be influenced by the Reforming Light and will reach your goal. Without the Light, nothing will happen. You only evoke a desire that is as correct, as efficient, and as intensive as possible, to the fullest.
You will reach the desirable measure of exertion so that the Light will turn from the Surrounding Light into the Inner Light. In other words, it will bring the attribute of bestowal into your desire, and you will perceive this feeling as the Light itself, as life and vitality.
If you were given the feeling of bestowal now, it would seem to you as hell. The only difference is that, by correcting yourself, you will be prepared for bestowal and be happy with it, whereas now it only will cause you pain and make the darkness seem like death since the Light of Hochma that isn’t dressed in the Light of Hassadim will be like a knife that cuts your whole life.
A small portion of this Light brings about our descents by evoking us to look for the way to rise to Hassadim. You are drawn upward, asking the friends and the Light for a bit of the attribute of bestowal that will pull you out of the descent. By that, you are begging for Hesed (mercy), for the dressing of the Light of Hassadim. When it comes, you receive a little vitality and come out of the abyss.
So, the Reforming Light is different from the Light that does not reform by giving you a Masach (screen), which means the readiness to stand bestowal and even to accept it as the real life.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/21/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot“
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