Comment: When a man and a woman start a family, it’s like a fire is burning inside them. But over time every couple begins to cool down.

My Response: Then the same fire burns them. This is a normal feeling of nature because plus and minus together gradually destroy each other. The light bulb burns out; the resistance of the tungsten filament, like any conductor connecting opposite qualities, gradually breaks down.

A man and a woman are two opposite objects of creation. Naturally over time they get tired of correctly complementing each other. The resistance, which is their desire to please each other, disappears. I do not want to please her and she does not want to please me; we become habituated, tired, and ordinary. And then everything disappears.

This means that it is necessary to make sure that there is a need for a constant correct connection between each other in their relationship—addition and annulment of oneself relative to the other.

But when can it happen? It happens if our connection leads us to something higher. And what could be higher in our world? I’d rather get divorced; it’ll be easier for me. Why would I bother with that at all? I will have other women, a different environment; I will live and everything will be fine. And her, too. People get divorced very simply.

If thanks to our common connection we reach highest level, eternal life, such a pleasure that we will not find together on earth, then it is worth for us to tolerate each other, not even tolerate, but already appreciate.

Therefore the institution of marriage, which is now being deliberately destroyed, can be restored only with the manifestation of the upper goal.

People will have to be given an explanation that we are returning to it for a reason. This is like any bad trait in a person, one must completely eradicate it and then in some way bring back a little in the correct realization.

It’s the same here. The institution of marriage will be eradicated and humanity is already heading for extinction. And then it is realized “Why do we need this?!” To achieve the upper goal, to create couples again, to live and breed!
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. How to Revive a Marriage?” 9/7/13

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Why is the world deteriorating?“

The world is starting to understand where it is. We are starting to agree with the fact that the future will be no better than it is today, and the next generation will be far worse off than we are.

We have passed our peak period of corporeal progress, and we are currently in a withdrawal period with nothing good waiting for us in the future.

We will thus bear witness to more and more negative phenomena across the board, such as rising depression, loneliness, anxiety, stress, drug abuse, suicide rates and a general atmosphere of despair.

Today, it has become more and more commonplace to look at our children and think, “What a shame that they were born! Look at the kind of world they are growing up into! What kind of world are we leaving for them!?” We thus need to learn what lies ahead for us, and to do so very quickly.

Kabbalists wrote about the major transition period our world has entered a long time ago, and described the comprehensive solution for how we can improve our lives: a method for positively connecting with each other above our growing egoistic and divisive drives.

Therefore, the world is deteriorating in order to show us that the current way we live our lives—in increasing inner detachment from one another—leads us to nothing good, and that changing direction to a positive course depends solely on breaking down the walls between us. By connecting to each other, we will discover a better future.

Based on the video “Why the World Is Deteriorating” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Question: When you look at a student, do you know his or her entire path from beginning to end?

Answer: What does it matter? It is still very hard to describe, including his freewill and so on. There is nothing obvious. There is a program, but the method of its implementation is concealed.

But if we were at the end of final correction, which no one has yet reached because this can only be done together, we would see all the paths we have traveled. This can only be seen by going through them and being in the final state.

No person can fully see what is happening, what will happen, and in what form. In principle the stages of the path are known, but the time when they will come true and how they are realized is unknown since this is determined by our freewill.

Question: But you once said that Rabash knew your path from beginning to end?

Answer: Probably, but I do not think he knew exactly how it would be implemented. As far as I understand, not a single created being, until its final correction, can see an absolutely complete implementation, which is above freewill because it is on the next level of the entire picture of the universe.

That is, you must rise to the full correction of this picture, behind which there are so-called 7^th, 8^th, 9^th, and 10^th millennia.

Question: But can a Kabbalist see the dry program, I mean the program itself?

Answer: Of course. But not the dates. It is impossible to say how this will be done, by war or by peace, this year or in 20 to 30 years. Otherwise, we would not have freedom.

This would automatically cancel any of our actions. Not that you know and do nothing, but in a completely different way. If this picture were clear, visible, and realized, then you no longer need to do anything.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. To See the Future of an Individual” 9/8/13

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Why do we compare ourselves with anyone?“

We are made of a desire to enjoy, which enjoys at the expense of others. This is our human ego, and it gives us a sense of self by comparing ourselves with others. When we compare ourselves to others, we separate ourselves from them, and wish to be superior—to control and suppress them in various ways.

Such an inclination does not exist on the still, vegetative and animate degrees of nature, but only at the human level. Physically, we exist on the animate level, but our inner desire and inclination belongs to a higher degree called the “human” or “speaking.” At such a level, we wish to swallow the whole world.

Rocks, plants and animals, i.e. the still, vegetative and animate levels of nature, have no such desire to make others bow down to their commands as we humans do. We are the only ones who have such a problem. We waste our lives on it, wanting to fulfill this inclination and desire, and nature compels us to do so.

If we would not compare ourselves, then we would not feel as if we exist. We would feel like any animal, which lives in the moment and has no additional desires. We, however, contain a higher degree called “the evil inclination,” the human ego that compares itself to others and that desires its superiority. On one hand, it is called “evil,” but on the other hand, it pushes humanity to progress and try out different things—to realize that desire. We feel that we have to realize it otherwise we feel nonexistent.

Based on the video “Why Do We Compare Ourselves?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Nitzah Mazoz. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “I want to change myself. What should I do?“

If we understand that the most important aspect of our lives is to be with people who understand, help, love and appreciate us, then we need to cherish such an attitude as much as possible.

By doing so, we sacrifice our “I” that always demands to suit itself, and we enter into an approach of wanting to learn how to love others. If the ones we try to love also have the same goal, then we can unlock a truly remarkable mutual feeling.

The approach of learning to love should radiate over everything we do, and it needs to be nurtured. However, unfortunately, such education does not exist in society at large. Moreover, when we age and understand such a need, we no longer have the strength to realize it. That is why it is impossible to convey such an approach to the younger generation. They disregard us, and although we might try, we cannot get closer to them.

Nevertheless, it is necessary to permeate the learning of how to love as much as possible into literature, schools, the media, entertainment—that society becomes saturated with connection-enriching learning. It will then become possible to achieve love for one another.

Based on the video “How to Change Myself [And Not Try Change Others to Suit Myself]” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Semion Vinokur. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Comment: Max watched your video and wrote to ask: “So is it all about me and not the world ?!”

My Response: Of course it is all about the person. And what about the world? What is the world? The world is a reflection of you.

Comment: But a person cannot imagine that there are no people, there is no world, there is no bad. This is very difficult for him.

My Response: I understand this because for any person, including a Kabbalist, there are periods when he is enclosed in himself and feels everything through himself and does not give an account of this. He is especially shaken so well. The upper force is working on him. And then it gives him the opportunity to return to the correct perception of reality.

On the opposites of these impressions, his inner and outer, he can determine what this world that we perceive in our senses means and what the real, true world that we perceive above our senses means. Faith is higher than knowledge.

Question: You say that he perceives everything in himself. Does this mean that he perceives everything in his feelings? Is this a wrong perception of the world?

Answer: This is incorrect, incomplete, and wrong. He must complete this by rising higher, above the senses.

Question: But it is impossible to give an example of this, right?

Answer: No. This person must reveal himself.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/17/22

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What is the basis for negative emotions?“

We should first understand that negative emotions surface in order to change us and bring us to a more positive state. Similar to diseases, they are signs that something is wrong. For instance, if my foot hurts, it is not that there is a problem with the foot, but it shows me that there is a certain problem that I have to take care of. I thus have to delve into the depth of the problem and take care of it.

Therefore, negative emotions tell us that there is something wrong in ourselves, our families, society, and our relationships. Today, we cloud our negative emotions with leisure of all sorts. Whether it is travel, sports, entertainment, getting drunk, taking drugs or going out to various clubs, negative emotions have become so strong that there is a great need in people to forget about and suppress them, and so leisure has become a much-sought-out solution.

The fact that we turn to forgetting about and suppressing our negative emotions so much shows that we fail to understand the root cause of the problem. Negative emotions are symptoms of a deeper problem that we need to accurately diagnose in order to heal ourselves of them.

The root cause of negative emotions is in fact the root cause of all problems on individual, social and global scales, and between the person and the still, vegetative and animate levels of nature. From the tiniest problem to the worst possible disaster, our every problem is sourced in our very egoistic nature, where we wish to benefit ourselves at the expense of others and nature.

The more we evolve, the more our egos grow, and thus the more we experience outbursts of all kinds of problems. This is why we feel much more negative emotions today than in the past, and we can see such phenomena in the rising cases of depression, loneliness, anxiety, stress, drug abuse and suicide worldwide. Eventually, we will reach a state where the increasing negative emotions we experience will make us ask about their deeper cause, and we will increasingly recognize our very egoistic human nature as their base cause.

The problem with our egoistic nature is not that we want to enjoy ourselves. It is that we want to enjoy ourselves at the expense of others, and by doing so, we harm others and only then feel that we gain. Until we correct our egoism, switching the desire to enjoy at the expense of others to a desire that enjoys by benefiting others—a process that we can implement if we upgrade the way in which we educate and influence each other—then we will experience more and more negative emotions and other problems in order to show us that we are failing to conduct ourselves correctly and that desperate need to change.

Based on the video “Why Do We Have Negative Emotions?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Nitzah Mazoz. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What is the human ego?“

It is a key law of nature that any existing body—still, vegetative or animate—desires to sustain and protect its existence. That is not considered ego. It can be called the desire to live and to exist.

The human ego begins where we desire to harm others. It is not that we prefer our own existence over the existence of others, which happens also in the animal world, but that we want to harm others without justification. Animals, for instance, kill each other for survival purposes, and feel that nature forces them to kill and to eat other animals. However, if nature does not give an animal such an urge, then it does not kill. If a lion is not hungry, then you could walk past it, and it might not even look your way. It would simply mind its own business.

The still, vegetative and animate levels of nature have no inner program that operates in order to harm others. They derive no enjoyment from suppressing others. They harm others only for their needs of feeding themselves and their offspring, surviving and growing. Therefore, the nature in animals is not an ego. It is not an evil inclination, but just a desire.

In the wisdom of Kabbalah, the human ego is called “evil inclination” because it exists only in the human being. It makes us enjoy from harming, suppressing, subordinating and controlling others. The ego is considered evil because of how it enjoys from intentionally harming others, beyond the need for mere survival necessities, as is the case with animals.

In short, we have base survival desires, which are not considered the human ego. The ego begins where we wish to feel pleasure by harming others.

Based on the video “What Is the Human Ego?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What are disadvantages of marrying your first love?“

Marrying our first love does not guarantee a good marriage.

We usually encounter several mistakes, breakages, arguments and perhaps also divorces, and only later, at an age closer to the end rather than the beginning, do we perhaps meet someone and start appreciating the marital connection.

People usually change since the time they had their first love. Their ideas of connection, closeness and relationships become totally different.

We need to go through hard times, ups and downs, the destruction of previous states that we lived through, and we can then cherish our relationships.

In short, after we meet, we need to learn a lot about ourselves, go through alternating positive and negative experiences and encounter states of desperation in the process, and then we understand how to build a life where we strive solely for positive relations. We need to accumulate an arsenal of various negative sensations and states, and only afterward can we avoid them. It is like storing weapons for a period, entering into a war, and then casting the weapons aside after the war.

As it is with partners, so it is with humanity in general. Humanity is now accumulating various weapons, and then it will understand they need to be cast aside. All wars take place for this purpose.

There can be no good without the recognition of evil, whether in our individual lives, between couples, or in the world in general.

Therefore, the advice for young couples is to have very long and nagging conversations with each other, where each partner spills out everything that they think about their partner, like two researchers, and gradually, little by little, they will be able to reach a state where they will mutually explore themselves and one another.

Life then becomes interesting. It turns into research of how can we can improve our relationships from one day to the next, how to change them in order to continually come closer together, and we regularly try to discover each other’s qualities, feelings and the relationship in general as vibrantly as possible.

For the time being, such relationships take a long time to build, say about fifty or sixty years, but the time will come when all people will live in such a way. Until then, we need to encourage young couples and people in general to go through a form of education that teaches and encourages them to treat relationships similarly to a research lab, where we can constantly seek how to improve our relationships, changing ourselves in order to get closer and more positively connected to each other above all forms of destruction that can emerge in our lives. It is indeed possible and doable, and the more such connection-enriching learning spreads throughout human society, the quicker and easier we will all be able to progress through all negative states with more awareness and understanding.

Based on the video “Does Marrying Your First Love Guarantee a Good Marriage?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Semion Vinokur. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Question: The Creator does not have the opportunity to do what we can do. Why can’t He do this job?

Answer: Because then we will not be able to feel what He wants us to feel.

We will not be able to consist of the two parts of nature at the same time: receiving and giving. After all, we only comprehend the Creator in opposites, as light from darkness. Everything is attained in contrast, in opposition.

Question: But if there is none else but Him, why can’t He implement the program that He Himself created?

Answer: The fact is that if we do not go through all the preliminary stages of our development, we will not accumulate the necessary sensations of opposite qualities in ourselves.

Everything consists of the accumulation of sensations and the awareness of opposites and their connection. If I know that this is darkness and this is light, and at the same time I can feel one against the other, then based on their multiple contradictions I consist of a huge amount of sensations and knowledge. By comparing them with each other, I recall from my memory all possible combinations of them, and based on this I become able to feel the opposite of me.

Therefore, I accumulate these feelings in myself; I experience them myself. And it cannot be explained. There are a lot of clever answers and questions, but all of them still do not explain anything because if a person is not in the feeling of “what does light mean against darkness,” he does not understand what it is about. After all, we are in different shades of only one egoistic quality.

There is no light at all in our world. There are various greater and lesser egoistic qualities. But they are different only in their egoism and not in comparison with something opposite to it.  Therefore we have nothing to compare them with. We live only in the egoistic quality from 100 percent, although we are far from it, to zero.

In fact, we are in a very shallow zone of egoism. We wallow in it and that is it. We cannot go lower, because there are such huge egoistic desires that simply scare us away because we will have to make a lot of effort to realize them. That is why we live on a little egoism; the day has passed, and it is good. This is our life.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. See What Doesn’t Exist” 8/30/13

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