Imagine that you are a parent—perhaps strict, perhaps kind, it doesn’t matter which, but loving—just such a parent relates to their children so should you treat others.

Question: And at the moment when I read this each day and understand that I cannot do it, is that the prayer: “I can’t!”?

Answer: This is not yet a prayer, but a state in which you examine yourself and see how much you need to be corrected. And then you already have some sort of claims or requests for correction. And you lay them out.

You judge yourself; you come and demand that the Creator correct you because you cannot correct yourself. The only one who can is Him. But only in accordance with your demands, requests, and supplications. So hurry!

Question: You began with the instruction to love everyone.

Answer: Yes.

Question: So I want to reach this, but I cannot, and I ask for it?

Answer: Exactly!

Comment: Thank you. Wonderful!

My Response: So prepare yourself.
[353612]
From KabTV’s “Conversation with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 2/26/26

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When a person is proud and has no desire to annul his authority before the Creator, and says that he has no lowliness in him, but he rather does what he wants, from this come to him all the bad qualities. The light of pleasure, which comes from above, illuminates as a slim light in order to sustain the world. As is known, it dresses in three qualities, called “envy,” “lust,” and “honor,” and all three qualities are included in the quality of pride (Rabash, “What Is, ‘The Creator Does Not Tolerate the Proud,’ in the Work?“).

Pride is a common term for a human personality, a sense of one’s own “I.” There is a correction for this feeling: bringing a person to realize that he is not capable of anything. Rather, he is capable of many things in this life, but he cannot come to spiritual correction on his own.

How is one led to understand he cannot correct himself, to come to Lishma? It is with the help of three qualities: envy, lust, and honor.

Because the human desire to receive has all three qualities, it develops. As a person develops, he sees that every time he is unable to control the desire to receive, he cannot combine it with the intention to give and use it within the framework of eternity. Then he gives up and asks the Creator for help.

Our progress, in fact, includes many such states when we try and fail, try again and again in vain. And every time a prayer appears in our hearts, an appeal to the Creator, that I am unable, I cannot. So far, this request, that I am really disappointed in myself and want to achieve an intention to bestow, has not fully formed as addressed specifically to the Creator.

But gradually, a person begins to learn more and more about these details within his desire to receive, within his environment, and becomes convinced of the importance of this goal. He sees that otherwise, his life will be temporary, random, and meaningless.

This happens until he begins to understand that this appeal is not a natural request due to accidental disappointment, but a certain approach to various life situations in order to find the right attitude to all cases of life, to see how much he is able or not to dominate the desire to receive, and based on this, turn to the Creator with true prayer.
[353144]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/14/26, Rabash, “What Is, ‘The Creator Does Not Tolerate the Proud,’ in the Work?”

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There is a prayer that precedes the prayer, a request that I may have the correct needs and that I may see my state in its true light. Only after this does a real prayer arise.

A person has prepared their Kli for correction, and then the correction happens, meaning that the light truly influences the person and he receives the intention for the sake of bestowal.

It is not that the Creator needs our prayers, pleas, praises, or blessings. Rather, through them we define our state from each type of desire in relation to a corrected state.

And if we truly want to achieve the correction of each quality, then it is a sign that we have prepared our Kli so that in it, for every desire, an intention for the sake of bestowal can appear.

But if my desire still does not need the right intention, then I cannot work with it. Only to the extent of realizing the necessity of this intention can one begin to work with the desire; otherwise, it will be coercion, and in the spiritual there is no coercion.
[353149]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/14/26, Rabash, “What Is, ‘The Creator Does Not Tolerate the Proud’ in the Work?”

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Question: I am discovering the evil in the very use of desire to receive. Why is it revealed in this way?

Answer: I receive the desire and intention to enjoy for myself from above, as a given. Now I need to see what the reason is. What kind of desire did I get? It can be a desire that brings me great pleasure or an opportunity to enjoy in order to achieve a goal.

Therefore, I make an effort to reveal that what is important to me is, not the fulfillment of the desire, but the intention for it. Even if I enjoy myself within the desire, as I do now, and remain in an unfilled Hisaron (deficiency), the intention I have received for the sake of receiving is still, in essence, evil for me. The fact is that the Creator becomes greater in my eyes than the intended fulfillment of desire.

Thus, I must value the greatness of the Creator more than the pleasure that can be obtained in the desire. When I achieve this, I have come to the realization of evil.

But this happens only because we work in a group and try to get inspired by everyone with the importance of the goal, of the Creator. Then I develop a need to do this, and I pray to the Creator that He must reveal Himself to me as something greater than the desire He gave me before.

In other words, the following happens in the actions of the Creator toward me: He gives me a desire with the intention of receiving for myself, and I have to reveal through the group, through books, that this desire is evil because the desire itself is higher in my eyes than the greatness of the Creator. Then I will ask the Creator to reveal Himself to me as great and not as a source of pleasure, so that His greatness will help me use my desire with the opposite intention—to bestow to Him.

When I achieve this, my prayer becomes a prayer for giving. That is, I am not praying for the filling of the Kli but for the opportunity to work for the sake of giving.
[352989]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/10/26, Rabash, “What Are the Two Actions During a Descent?”

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Comment: In our world, we see examples of love, but they are not very convincing.

My Response: In our world, we can take a group of people and through psychological exercises make them so devoted to one another that even death cannot separate them. The group is worked with in such a way that during a collective action no one thinks about themselves; everyone thinks about the group and cannot imagine life without it.

There is a known case of a submarine crew that suffered an accident and had to abandon the vessel. Not everyone had a chance to escape, and the part of the crew that could have left chose to stay and die together with everyone else.

On the corporeal level, we see that spiritual roots are realized in branches without any problem. And this is a human force; animals do not have it. A mother can give her life for her child, but animals cannot. If a predator truly threatens life, the female abandons the offspring and runs away. Such an addition exists only on the human level.

This indicates that we possess all the branches of the spiritual roots. But we want to attain those roots. And there, they exist in such a form that you cannot reach them directly from your ego. You must build yourself into such a form from scratch. That means you must ask to become like that.

You are not required to have the strength to become like this, nor a plan of how to achieve it, but you must have the desire to enter such a state, to acquire it so that it becomes your nature in some form; you are obligated to find it.

This is precisely where the problem lies. If you were offered to build a group modeled after a submarine crew, you would build it. But to realize this on the level of the spiritual world, you have no ability.

To rise from the branches to the roots in love for friends is possible only through our request. Not through execution, but specifically through a request.

Question: When do we come to such a request?

Answer: When the group shows you that this is how it truly is. It tells you that by exiting love for oneself, we acquire something great.

And even though for you this is not true, the group can influence you in such a way that it will become true.
[352650]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/2/26, Rabash, “For Man Is the Tree of the Field – 1”

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However, there is a natural law that there is none so wise as the experienced, and before one tries to actually do all he can do, he is utterly incapable of arriving at true lowliness, to the real extent, as said above.

This is why we must toil in Kedusha [holiness] and purity, as it is written, “Whatever you find that your hand can do by your strength, that do,” and understand this for it is true and deep (Baal HaSulam, Letter 57).

While working on unification in order to form a vessel for bestowal, a person falls into despair. Then a genuine request arises in him in response to which the vessel arrives. In other words, the correct need for unity also comes from above. We ourselves are unable to attain it.

No matter how much we try, no matter how much we desire it, we are only preparing ourselves for a cry, and the Creator gives us the desire. In this world, a person does not have and cannot have a need for unity, no matter how hard he tries. Efforts are needed only in order to ask.

I revealed this truth to you only so you would not weaken or give up on mercy. Although you do not see anything, for even when the measure of labor is complete, it is the time of prayer, but until then, believe in our sages: “I did not labor and found, do not believe.”

When the measure is full, your prayer will be complete and the Creator will grant generously, as our sages instructed us, “I labored and found, believe,” for one is unfit for a prayer prior to this, and the Creator hears a prayer (ibid.).

Overall, the result of our work is to reach the right request. And then the vessel arrives, the correct desire for unity.

As a rule, in this world we wait for fulfillment. But in spiritual work, fulfillment is the effort. If I can work for bestowal, make efforts, that itself is my fulfillment. And therefore there are no restrictions or limitations on it.

However, in my current state I am unable even to consider such a thing. After all, all my efforts are needed in order for me to want to perform bestowal to others, not even to begin bestowing, but to feel a need for it. Is this possible? And yet, this is precisely the spiritual vessel.

That is why in our work we go through several stages of preparation. Kabbalists have written about this more than once: in spirituality, what seems to us as a reward is in essence work, and what seems to us as work is actually the reward.

However, as a result of our efforts, that very vessel is revealed to us, the correct desire.
[71937]
From the Congress in the Arava, Lesson 6, 2/25/12

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We constantly work with our egoistic desire, which acts according to its natural property, the desire to receive fulfillment, our only matter. We await the light of correction to come and add an intention for the sake of bestowal to this desire.

We must separate desire and intention. With the desire to enjoy, I always have the opportunity to work and advance. As it says, “Do everything within your power.” But the intention to give to others or to the Creator comes as a result of the influence of the surrounding light. That is what we need to ask for.

That is, I already have half of the spiritual vessel, the desire to enjoy. I am not neglecting or annulling it, I just want to change its intention. If a person correctly separates his attitude toward action and intention, he will always be able to perform some actions and do work, both when spirituality attracts him and when it does not. But the force of unity that was formed in the past helps him.

He will always be able to raise a prayer, a request, for the right intention, so that it joins his action, and determines his spiritual quality. That is how a person advances.

Once he begins to understand more, feel more, and enter the spiritual world, he sees that there is not much difference between the spiritual and the material. It only takes a psychological change in a person to experience the spiritual.

We are not required to cross out our entire past life or override all our basis. We just need to extract the intention from all this and try to bring it to correction.

Therefore a person is happy that he came out of Egypt and brought with him many vessels, desires, and much strength. On the other hand, he is full of selfish intentions, and feels that they are the opposite of the truth. That is what he is starting to work on now. From this state, work begins. Therefore it is considered the point of spiritual birth.

We feel as “You Stand Today, All of You” before the Creator, with our corrupt desires, which we can present to Him as ready for correction.
[58790]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson, 10/26/11, Rabash, “You Stand Today, All of You”

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It is said: “‘I have created the evil inclination, and I created the means for its correction, in which the light that returns to the source is hidden.”  From this it is clear that nothing can be achieved on one’s own, but only through a request, through prayer.

The striving to move toward the intention to bestow, for the benefit of others, even if it is not sincere and even if it completely contrary to the desires that currently rule us, is called prayer, or the raising of MAN.

We have received a tiny spark of spirituality, and in order to break through the boundary of the spiritual world and enter the second part of reality, we lack only the desire. Therefore, all our prayers are solely for one thing: to acquire desire.

But there are states when a person desires nothing at all. One must understand that this, too, is a state given to us from above and not merely our laziness or indifference. A person is a kind of “black box” awakened by signals from above. The light that acts on our material, on the desire to be attuned, awakens it more or less, or leaves it completely indifferent.

Depending on this, we awaken and reach out, like a flower toward sunlight or rain, or we wither and fall, without receiving vital forces. Therefore, if there is no strength or desire for spiritual work, one must understand that just as at one time you received inspiration from above and rushed forward, burned with zeal, and worked, the desire is also taken away from above.

This state is given intentionally and measured precisely according to each person’s individual qualities and preparation in order to create a place for prayer for you. And you must try, with the help of the group, the books, the teacher, and the environment, to mobilize all your strength for a request.

Prayer is born from powerlessness, from lack of desire, or, on the contrary, from an intense longing, it does not matter how; all of these are conditions given from above. Likewise, from above our environment is arranged for us: a group, a teacher, books. And we, through joint study and the group, must find the light that will return us to the source.

When we study together, this is the very time for prayer. For we are then in connection with the higher system, with Malchut and Zeir Anpin of the world of Atzilut, that is, with the Creator and His Shechina. We become included in them, not each one individually, but all together, and thus give birth to a collective prayer. And through this we demand and draw to ourselves the power of change.
[37156]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/6/11, Rabash “What Does It Mean that Charity to the Poor Makes the Holy Name, in the Work?”

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It seems like we must pray for fulfillment: “Fill me, fill me!” But the spiritual world is the opposite, the anti-world, because in it the fulfillment is the work itself, the effort, the striving for a goal, the desire to love!

This very desire fills a person. He gets filled with the desire for bestowal, not even from the action itself.

A person is filled with the Creator, and the Creator is the force of bestowal. If we attain the force of bestowal and are filled with the desire to give without even performing the action itself, this is called the stage of Bina. When we realize the act of bestowal, we have reached the stage of Keter, the degree of love. This is the filling.

In our world, it works differently. I perform some action and expect to be paid, so the payment is my fulfillment. But this is not the case in the spiritual world. There, the action itself serves as fulfillment. As it says, “The reward for a mitzvah is the mitzvah itself.”

But there is another addition: “The reward for a commandment is to attain the One who commanded.” That is, we reveal someone inside who is in adhesion with you.…

There is no such thing as requiring payment for the act of giving; otherwise, it is not giving! Therefore, our fulfillment lies in our efforts, in our work, in the very pursuit of spirituality. Like a mother who loves a baby and does not demand his love in return, she is filled with her love for him and her giving alone.

Therefore, we pray only for the desire for bestowal, we need nothing else. If I have such a desire for the Creator, for love, for giving, there is nothing more to ask! This is enough to feel completely fulfilled.

I will be filled with my desires for bestowal, while egoistic desires for enjoyment will never be filled.
They can only be filled with a very weak spark, which is called a “thin candle” (Ner Dakik), a very limited life in this world.
[37152]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/6/11, Rabash, “What Does It Mean that Charity to the Poor Makes the Holy Name, in the Work?”

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A proper prayer must consist of two parts:

1. Gratitude—praising the Creator for bringing us into the group, uniting us, forming us into a single whole, for responding to our intermediate silly and not-silly requests and whims. Otherwise, to whom are we addressing ourselves?

2. An urgent request for one another, not for oneself. After all, if we all unite correctly, then this request for one another no longer even makes sense, because it immediately turns into a request for the Creator, i.e., we desire to turn to Him.

A mandatory condition must be the understanding that only the Creator can answer our request. He is the only One who exists, the only One who responds and acts in the entire system of creation.

Moreover, we must suffer from the fact that we have a great desire, yet we have not yet received an answer to it. And later, when I receive an answer to my request, I feel joy, delight, and fulfillment. The difference between the magnitude of suffering during the prayer (not animal suffering, not for oneself, but for the benefit of the created beings and the Creator) and my delight upon receiving the answer constitutes the amount and quality of the joy that fills me, that is, the group.

Therefore, the more effort we invest in properly shaping the desire for the light, the closer we will come to it and the faster we will pass the path of forming the correct desire to which the light will respond by entering it. Thus, we will be granted the revelation of the Creator.

And it does not matter how beautifully this desire is formulated or whether it is clothed in lofty words. Only one thing matters—the sincerity of the heart in the request for the friends, for the group, for the world, for the Creator. Then my desire will truly become a desire to bestow, to which the light will instantly respond according to the law of equivalence of form.
[187817]
From the International Kabbalah Congress, Moscow, 5/2/16, Lesson 3

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