“From above they give giving, and take, they do not take” (as all that is given from above is not received in return, but stays below). Hence, if one extends something from above and then blemishes it, it remains below, but not with the person. Instead, it falls to the sea of the Sitra Achra (Baal HaSulam, Shamati 35 “Concerning the Vitality of Kedusha”).

I drew the light, but I am unable to retain it. In the first moment, I reached equivalence with the light, and it was revealed within my desire. But already in the next instant, a new, uncorrected informational record (Reshimo) was revealed in me, which needed to be adjusted anew to the light.

But I didn’t do that, and therefore the previous light disappears from me. In truth, the light remains; it is just that I cease to feel it because my desire has been renewed.

From the illumination I received, I must learn how to continue next time: to prepare the desires, the foundation, the forces, the mutual guarantee, the confidence, in order to draw the light for the sake of bestowal. Each time, my participation must grow greater and greater.

At every following moment a new Reshimo is revealed that no longer matches the previous state. A stronger desire emerges, and opposite it a greater light. I must align the desire to the light by applying greater effort. But I did not do this; I was not prepared, and therefore I lost the illumination of the previous state.

The system is initially built in such a way that I am never immediately ready to receive the light. Since my vessel is broken, a corrupted desire is revealed along with a light opposite to it, which, of course, I am unable to receive at that moment. It is written about this: “There is no righteous person on earth who does good and does not sin.” And after every transgression, a correction, a commandment, is revealed, because “It is impossible to perform a commandment before transgressing it.”

First, there is always a revelation of the shattering. That is how we advance, we fall, and we rise. Without a descent, there is no ascent, no correct use of the desire to receive, because the desire is only revealed through the feeling of descent.

The desire becomes suitable for work only after being impressed by the qualities of the light. This occurred at the time of the shattering. Due to the light entering the desires, the shattering happens, the boundary between the desire to receive and the desire to bestow breaks down, and these desires intermingle.

Within creation, the qualities of the light and the qualities of the vessel mix. Thus, through the shattering, creation acquires the attributes of the Creator, even though it perceives itself as corrupted and broken. But this unpleasant feeling stems precisely from the sense of being opposite to the Creator, that is, because the Creator is present within creation and is revealed in it.

This is already their meeting, contact, and revelation. Therefore, only after the shattering can we truly speak of a creation that stands opposite the Creator. The creation can now neglect the Creator and desire to rule independently: this impure force (Sitra Achra) is our true nature, the sense of our opposition to the Creator.

This is an advanced state, because now there is a connection with the Creator and an awareness of its opposition within creation. The creation knows the Creator and knows itself, and still insists: “I will rule!” From this point on, correction becomes possible, but not before. This occurred during the shattering of the Second Temple and the subsequent exile, and therefore, only now, today, have we become ready for correction, and not earlier.
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From Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/4/19, Writings of Baal HaSulam “Concerning the Vitality of Kedusha”

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