How does one come to the “gate of tears?” I feel the Creator is hidden from me, is not present in my life, is not getting closer, and is not revealing Himself. I thought there were ways to get closer to the Creator and to enter the spiritual world, but now I find out nothing is being revealed, everything is closed.

But the desire for spirituality does not disappear; the desire is huge, but there is no opportunity. There are no ways to achieve spirituality, to touch the quality of bestowal.

And then I discover there is a way to acquire the quality of bestowal! You need to connect with the Creator. Now I understand that to reveal the Creator and to connect with Him means to connect with the quality of bestowal and love, to unite with everyone, and to care about everyone as the Creator cares for everyone. This is called connecting with the Creator.

This is not what I thought before. I hoped that by connecting with the Creator, I would see more, feel more, and understand more—that it was me who would be filled. Now I see that to reveal the Creator and connect with Him means to have the opportunity to give to everyone, to take care of everyone. I want to love everyone so much, give everything to everyone, that I burst into tears! This means that I am standing “before the gates of tears.”

This is a very good state. After all, I do not want to think about myself at all, but I want to give to everyone and I suffer from my inability to do good to people. The whole world and my life seem like darkness to me if I cannot benefit others.

The gate of tears is the entrance to the world of love and bestowal, the way out of oneself into faith above reason. This is how we enter the world of truth, the true reality. In fact, we exist in it, but now we are locked in some cramped capsule in which we feel our world and live inside ourselves.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/10/21, Writings of Baal HaSulam “My Soul Shall Weep in Secret – 1”

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