When one works in order to bestow, he does not mind what he feels during the work. Rather, even in a state where he sees a shape of black, he is not impressed by it, but he only wants the Creator to give him strength to be able to overcome all the obstacles.

It means that he does not ask the Creator to give him a shape of white, but to give him the strength to overcome all the concealments.

Hence, those people who want to work in order to bestow, if there is always a state of whiteness, the whiteness does not allow one to continue in the work.

This is because, while it shines, one is able to work even in the form of reception for oneself. Hence, one will never be able to know if his work is in purity or not, and this causes him never to be able to be awarded Dvekut [adhesion] with the Creator.

[After all, he lacks a clear understanding of the state he is in.]

For this reason, he is given from above a form of blackness, and then he sees if his work is in purity. This means that if one can be in gladness in a state of blackness, too, it is a sign that his work is in purity, since one must be glad and believe that from above he was given an opportunity to be able to work in order to bestow (Baal HaSulam, Shamati, 42, “What Is the Acronym Elul in the Work?”).

There is none else besides the Creator. The Creator sends us both positive and negative influences, darkness and light. This may be darkness and light in feelings or it may be darkness and light in knowledge and understanding. In either case, we must understand that we work on the contrast between darkness and light, the positive and the negative. Therefore, it is essential for us to understand these two states and exist within them.

That is, I must develop an attitude within myself toward darkness and light, understanding and confusion, good and bad feelings in people, in myself, and in the circumstances, regardless of what and how that allows me to go in the middle line.

In essence, it does not matter what I feel; what matters is that I am directed toward the Creator, for all feelings come from Him. The most important thing is that if I strive toward Him above these feelings, I fulfill my purpose correctly.

The meaning of my actions is to perceive everything as coming from the Creator and as necessary for my spiritual development.
[338316]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/3/19, Writings of Baal HaSulam “What Is the Acronym Elul in the Work?”

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