Question: How can I come to feel a gray state and want to break out of it even though everything seems to be smooth and good? Where do I get the need for something more? Where does the search for the purpose of my existence and especially the ability to connect everything with the Creator come from?
Answer: This ability comes from exposure to the surrounding light. When you engage in Kabbalah, you invoke the upper light upon yourself, and it gradually moves you toward the Creator. This movement occurs either on the right or on the left line.
The Creator sort of flirts with us here. He draws us in and out, He puts us far and near in order to bring various sensations within us in connection with Him. After all, we cannot be in one state only, either in the right or left line, but only when both are constantly compared. This is how the Creator acts.
Therefore, if striving toward Him, whatever it may be, accompanies us in the group, in the classroom, while reading the original sources, etc., then we begin to see how these states change within us. This occurs constantly.
As a result, we see that we have no other opportunity, and as soon as we break through to Him, we compel, force, Him to reveal Himself to us.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 11/24/19