What Did I Do To Deserve This?

laitman_600.02People often ask: “Why do such troubles happen to me?” A person might get fired, be stricken by a serious illness, or experience the death of a loved one, and he starts wondering: “What did I do to deserve this?” I have heard it a thousand times from people who came to seek advice from me.

In fact, it is impossible to find out why a disaster occurred; one should not dig into the past searching for a reason, as if there is a connection between our actions, reward or punishment. If I try to connect the past and future, building a causal chain, that would be a very simplistic, material approach. It is how we talk to small children who are unable to grasp any more than that. As a child grows up (at 12-13 years old), he must develop a different way of thinking.

I do not know why certain things happen to me—it depends on the root of my soul. Each state is something completely new at every moment. Whatever happened in the past has no bearing on the future, everything depends on a common system for all of humanity, on the common soul. Everything comes to me from there and I am interconnected with an infinite number of variables that affect my destiny.

Quite possibly, parts of the soul that are very distant from me determine what is happening to me at this moment. Conversely, I can be the reason for what is happening to them. After all, we are all connected in the one common soul of Adam.

Obviously, on a simple corporeal level, I can predict the consequences of my physical actions. But suddenly something happens and I lose a direct connection. It happens because we are unable to take into account all the variables in our lives. It seems to us that all the reasons should be evident, but it is not the case.

The question is, what can be done when a difficult situation arises? We must not look into the past, but work with the state we are given now. A person is renewed every moment, every day. There is no moment that is like another. These are spiritual laws. Commands come to us from the spiritual world without any connection with what one does in this world.

This shatters our entire previous system of beliefs about reward and punishment and it forms a new system where we are connected with the real reasons—the upper governance that shapes our whole lives.

If something happens, do not look for the reason in the past. Even if I believe that I have found it, would it help me? Based on that, I will only make more mistakes in the future. Thus, it is best to say that each moment comes from above, based on the root of my soul. If I want to ensure a good, decent, and fast development for myself, I must affect the root of my soul so that only good directions come from there.

The past happened and sank into eternity; we are not concerned about it anymore. In my current state, I must look for greater connection with everyone. If I am not in a Kabbalistic group, among people who want to connect into the one common soul of Adam HaRishon, then I have no way of influencing my life. I will be merely executing the commands that come from the upper governance, not knowing where they come from.

If I want to connect with my spiritual root, I must be in the right environment in order to take care of the group and humanity, pulling them toward connection. Then the system that I am a part of, which is the source of all the commands, will be revealed to me.

If a tragedy occurs, one must not blame or devour himself. Instead, one must accept it as it is and from this state connect even more with the group. In order for this to happen, one must be among people who also want to influence, understand, and rise above their lives. It is possible.

We see that there is no reward or punishment for past deeds in this world. Criminals live beautiful lives while a simple worker, earning his bread by the sweat of his brow, suffers. Trying to find fairness means wasting your efforts in the wrong direction. There is nothing to learn from this world because it is built on falsehood.

The science of Kabbalah explains the only way to affect the world: to find a group of like-minded people and start uniting with them. Only by the power of our connection can we influence the upper force. Then it will change reality for all of us.

We can create such a revolution without a single soldier or shot fired, without any violence, only on account of the upper force. If we unite in a ten, we awaken the upper force to correct us and all of humanity.

Our reward is in our unity and the sensation of the ten of us as a single unit. Our punishment is in our inability to achieve that. Then, whatever happens to me, even the worst thing imaginable, I will say that it came from above and that it is the best thing possible because it pushes me toward love and connection with my ten. Every moment is a new life, a new state that I have to work with inside my ten. In this case, anything sent my way will be perceived as good.

I build my soul inside the ten. Ten friends trying to unite (“friend” –  “Haver” from the word “connection” –  “Hibur”), build such a mechanism between them called “a soul.” In the soul, they reveal the force of love and bestowal, unity, that which controls the whole universe. That is why it is called the upper force. Our whole lives, all events lead us toward the realization of this goal.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/5/19

Related Material:
Not Punishment, But Correction
A Gift, Not A Punishment
Reward And Punishment In Our Lives, Part 7


  1. Reading this article was soothing to me, for I am going through a similar situation after the loss of my daughter. I would like to find a Kabbalah group to join in my area. I don’t know of anybody that like me, is interested in studying Kabbalah. Please help.

  2. Would like to join the nearest Kabbalah group in my area.

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