Parshat Shalach says that when the spies reached the land of Israel, they saw how wonderful it was. But at the same time, they understood that it was impossible to enter it because terrifying giants lived there, and when the people were informed about this, they began to be resentful.
Generally, when do I begin to be resentful? It is when they say to me, “You must do this.”
That is, whenever I am going toward the next level that I must reach, I cannot escape from it because circumstances are pushing me. Yet, I feel that I no longer have any strength. This dramatic contrast where I must do something but don’t have the strength, awakens resentment in me.
Even though the land of Israel is so attractive and flowing with milk and honey, I still can’t enter there. All that remains for me is only to be envious from a distance and relax. As it is said, a man has no desire for the daughter of the king because even just dreaming about her is suffering.
So, I don’t suffer. I know that she is not for me, a dream that will not come true. So automatically I remove her from my desires and live in peace, enjoying what is attainable.
Here the problem is that I am required to win the king’s daughter, “You must,” and I don’t see any possibility of doing this. But the circumstances force me, “It doesn’t matter. Hold on. Go up. You will climb this mountain and do everything.”
But there are huge giants there, and I have to fight them? Must I overcome obstacles like rivers with strong currents and high mountains? I am not ready! So, I am resentful and grumble.
Resentment appears depending on my present understanding of the possibilities that are standing in front of me and the obstacles that are placed before me. Even though I may later expect a reward, rivers of milk and honey, it’s not for me. Let me live in peace. I lived forty years in the wilderness, and I could live there for another forty years. It’s not so bad. That is basically how a human being is constructed.
The problem is that I take account of my present characteristics and possibilities. However, the Creator says, “I will put you in such circumstances that you will have no choice, and you will turn to Me. Then I will help you. I will support you, and you will rise up to this level.”
But in the meantime, the people are resentful, “We will choose other leaders who will take us back to Egypt.” This is because it is impossible to remain in the middle of the wilderness. Either go forward or back. So, it is preferable to turn back. What was bad there?
For a person in the present situation, it always seems like this, “How I hate the state I am in now. I am leaving.” What he escapes from seems positive to him. So, he goes back.
All of this is completely natural, except for one thing: to ask, to demand, the strength to master the next level. Only then does the person get powers. Until then, he always forgets that it is possible to receive the powers that he lacks from the Creator with the help of demands and requests.
Question: How is it possible to explain this colossal forgetfulness, the constant alternating in us of sensitivity to the Creator and descent, again sensitivity and descent, and that is how it is until the Creator is erased completely from our memories and thoughts?
Answer: The fact is that a person is new all the time. The memory is not stored within him. Everything disappears as if he never had experienced anything and had no similar circumstances. After all, what was on the previous stage is lost, like a rocket. The previous stage is disconnected, and everything is completely cleared away. Nothing is left because at the new level all ten Sefirot are new.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 5/6/15