From Rabash, Article, “On My Bed at Night”: “On my bed at night I sought him whom my soul loves,” to lead me out of her, since the Nefesh de Kedusha belongs to the assembly of Israel, and she is in the other, impure land, and asks of Him whom my soul loves to deliver me from it, from the impure land.
This means that since the Nefesh de Kedusha is in lowliness, the Nefesh de Noga does what the three impure Klipot want. It therefore follows that the Nefesh de Kedusha must tolerate the governance of the impure Klipot, which govern them. This is why the Nefesh de Kedusha asks to be delivered from this exile….
We often come across a state like this called “on my bed at night.” The question is, how to clarify it, how to contend with it and to use it to advance.
In each one of us three forces are at work: Nefesh de Kedusha, Nefesh of the three impure Klipot and the Nefesh de Klipat Noga, which doesn’t belong to Kedusha or to the impure Klipot and gives us free choice. So we are sometimes inclined in the direction of Kedusha and sometimes towards Tuma’a (impurity), depending upon who is dominating us.
Sometimes illumination reaches us from Above and the Nefesh de Kedusha is awakened in us. In the meantime, it is not the true Neshama, we don’t have a Neshama yet, but the Light is revealed on the right side, on the side of bestowal. And so we begin to have more appreciation for bestowal, giving, and connection. We feel the illumination in it and so egoistically we prefer it.
The next time it’s the opposite, nothing illuminates us with the power of bestowal, from the right side, with the Nefesh de Kedusha, and so we are drawn towards the Nefesh de Tuma’a, to the left side. This means that we begin to be concerned about everything that will interest our ego.
We are rarely able to influence these two sides, yet their action on us ultimately comes to be expressed in the middle line, in Klipat Noga. That is how we determine our situation and our future, what we will decide next time.
It is always about the future, because in the present state, there is nothing he can do. He must accept it as good and as given for his own good. The main thing is not to forget that all states intentionally come from Above.
All the states are specifically arranged for us so that we will relate to them correctly. They don’t require anything from us except for our correct attitude, meaning the intention. We ourselves don’t change anything in reality.
This reality is determined; this is Malchut of the world of Infinity. Yet thanks to our correct relationship to it, which is an awareness that there is none else besides Him, the good and benevolent, and with the help of adherence with this singular power that manages all of creation, we set points on the way for ourselves. The entire work consists of the understanding, attainment, and justification of this active force.
Specifically due to these states, the “nights,” we must always rise and justify the higher behavior, in spite of the darkness of the night. This justification is through thanks and praise for the Creator, His exaltation, “I am the first and I am the last,” in His relationship of immense love for all of creation. All of the states through which the Creator brings us are given for one goal, to bring the creatures to the point of adherence with Him.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/23/14, Writings of Rabash