Question: According to the integral method, in order to create a family it’s enough if a man and a woman are not repulsed by each other. On the other hand, you mentioned that souls are selectively brought together as a result of their similarity of Reshimot (spiritual genes). What particularly do we have to know in order to implement the methodology correctly?
Answer: We know in spirituality convergence happens according to the principle of similarity.
Similarity in this world manifests in common features of character, common interests and views, similar education and social level. All these things are very important when it comes to creating a family.
Naturally, when a couple is involved in spiritual advancement, it becomes most important. However, material similarity in our world should be compared. So how much the people are alike, close in spirit and education, the easier and more preferable it is for them to have a family; it comes from the spiritual law of similarity.
I cannot marry a woman from Australia or Africa for example. I’m not talking about the color of her skin, but rather our internal properties; they are totally different from each other! We won’t understand each other for the rest of our lives!
We will cohabitate in the same home and even have children (that’s not a problem), but it will be extremely hard for us to understand each other internally, because her inner language is completely different from mine. It only seems that she says the same words as I do; in fact, the images and pictures that are hidden behind the words that live in her heart and mind are completely different from mine.
We speak one earthly language, but each of us a completely different internal language that is based on the images that are concealed by the words. When I say something, I have a certain image behind the word I said and this word evokes a totally different image in her. We will hardly ever understand each other. Practically, it just doesn’t happen.
In the spiritual realm, we are united, included in one another, I accept her internal world and she takes mine, not earthly, but spiritual! We are unable to accept somebody else’s internal material world because we can’t correct anything in this world at all. We cannot correct our earthly qualities, which we were born with and that were developed in us in the process of our upbringing and education. We just cannot do it!
We see these things happen even to people in our inner circle who take a husband or wife from a distant place and with a completely different mentality. They just don’t understand each other! They live together because they are a part of the group and that’s why they have acquired something in common, but they still lack the inner meaning of a glance or understanding each other without words. Mentality is extremely important!
Question: Can spouses who have different mentalities improve their relationships by aspiring to spirituality?
Answer: I don’t believe so! It’s impossible to “enter” another person with a different kind of mentality. It is very difficult! Even psychologists or politicians cannot do it. Nobody can! It takes a general and complete re-organization of one’s brain. It’s impossible to have two mentalities simultaneously. Mechanically, artificially it can supposedly happen, but not really.
Mentality is about those conceptual images of this world that a person acquires during the first 15-20 years of his life. It’s impossible to replace or alter them!
What’s the internal language that each of us has? It’s our inner pictures of this world that we represent in connection with specific, forms, thoughts, and words. For example, sometimes we see all sorts of code on a computer screen that represents the internal language of a computer. Although we type words and give commands in English, Russian, and other languages, the computer translates them into its hidden language that runs it.
We too have a similar internal language: It is immutable; it cannot be changed. So I can relate externally with another person, but there always will be a barrier between us. And there is nothing we can do about it; it’s a result of being exposed to the environment during our childhood and youth.
From a Talk about the Group and Dissemination 10/20/13