Baal HaSulam, “The Mystery of Letter Kaf in the Word Anochi (I)”: Malchut, clothed in the worlds, is called “I” and distributed to the world of Assiya. Precisely it is the division which every man feels himself existing as he is.
Developing, a man wants to conquer the whole world for his own sake and pleasure. This is the force of breaking in the world of Assiya, as it is said (Prophets, Melachim (Kings), I, 1:5): “I will be king”—because of the spiritual sparks that have not yet been revealed.
We must understand that the receiving desire, detached from the Creator, which feels itself as opposite to Him and seeks to dominate over everything is artificial in its essence. It does not exist in reality, it is created as something imaginary to be in polar opposition to the Creator.
It exists only as part of perception, in order to create a sense of oppositeness to the Creator. And only in this it should be given importance: It is important only because it enables us to feel oppositeness to bestowal and for no other reason. Based on it we can build a relationship with the Creator.
Now we do not touch Malchut, as such, the end of the line of Infinity, in the center of the circle. We will touch it only if we present ourselves before the Creator. The receiving desire does not exist until we place it opposite the Creator. Only then there is me and there is the Creator, and some line is stretched between us, the link, from which it is possible to begin the path.
This point is opposite to Him in all its properties and is hidden, and it begins to be revealed to the extent of my ability to imagine the Creator as its opposite. Otherwise, it shows me nothing but troubles, meaning not itself, but its external manifestations. But gradually, unlike the entire world, I approach its internal essence, distinguish it in front of the Creator, and then I start my own line.
Thus, it is important to remember: We do not eliminate this point; we understand that we need it. However, we must constantly go into it deeper and deeper. If I want to know materiality, then we have to contrast it with spirituality, to place the point Malchut before the Creator. One cannot exist without the other in this set.
If I imagine a certain reality without the Creator, opposite to it, then I live in an imaginary world.
This is the difference between the lowest state that precedes the first spiritual degree, the state in which I oppose the Creator and the imaginary world, which I do not connect with the Creator in our understanding.
The real “I” appears only when the property completely opposite to me, the Creator, is before me. And then, confronting Him I “lay claim to the throne,” which is manifested in various forms. For example, I can admit that He is eternal and powerful, that He determines and provides everything, and nonetheless, as a small child, I want everything the other way; I want to take His place. This is also included in the scope of claims, “I will be king.”
Thus, what is important is not power itself, but the desire. If I want to take power in my hands at least in something, this is already my real I. After all, the thing is, who is the head, who decides? And if it is clear to me that it is either me or the Creator, then I already enter into relationship with Him, even if not yet in a spiritual way.
How can I come to this? It is very simple: I begin to realize that the Creator rules in me I completely. Even my opposition to Him He creates on purpose to advance me on the path of development. As a result, I include both opposites and start building a correct relationship between them.
Baal HaSulam illustrates this by the example: Going to work in the morning, a person is guided by the principle, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” And at the end of the day, he admits that there is none else but the Creator.
At the first stage of the process, I become aware that there is no one but Him. I realize this relative to myself in all my desires and thoughts, in feelings, and the mind (and I have nothing else); the Creator has absolute power.
Who am I then? A deeper detail of perception, a higher spiritual degree. Since He reigns in me fully, then I state this on the basis of some new point. Thus, every time I reveal a deeper “I” until the fourth stage where the force of breaking occurs.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/4/13, “From Hatred to Love by the Light that Reforms