Baal HaSulam, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar,” Items 29 – 30: …This is regarded as being under the Sitra Achra and the Klipot, whose role is to expand and enhance his will to receive and make it exaggerated and unrestrained in any way, to provide one with all the material he needs to work with and correct.
In our evolution, we go through four stages of the desires that belong to this world: still, vegetative, animate, and speaking. Each next step is “steeper” than the previous one.
Although it is dressed in his will to receive at birth, it only begins to awaken after thirteen years, and then one begins to enter the system of the pure worlds…
One already has a huge, exorbitant egoistic desire within which there is a point in the heart. It is connected to the Light and that’s why it starts acting. Thus, after “thirteen years” of acquiring the entire desire to receive for the sake of receiving, the point in the heart (*) and its connection with the Surrounding Light awakens. It’s as if we inflate the balloon of our desire, reaching our point through the impure worlds of ABYA—and then it awakens.
When one obtains the excessive spiritual will to receive, one wishes to devour, for one’s own delight, all the wealth and delights in the next, eternal world, which is an eternal possession.
Only if we aspire to unity can we reveal how wicked we in fact are. We try to be friendly and nice, but each time we feel that we are truly indifferent, forgetful, careless, and unresponsive. Sometimes we even admit to ourselves that we enjoy other people’s suffering. Isn’t that so?
This is our nature, our regular egoistic desire with which we were born and live. Previously, it was hiding in the “shade.” At this time, when we strive to unite with others and be kind to them, it started manifesting in us. However, it’s not spirituality as of yet, nor is it genuine bestowal; we are still only attempting to reach it.
Then, the next stage takes place. Before we reached “thirteen years of age,” all we did was try to exit our egoism and reveal the evil inclination inside us, meaning our unwillingness to change and the constant downfalls into an even bigger egoism. However at this time, we stop attempting and start to act in order to reach bestowal. These actions demonstrate the greatness of the Creator to us: eternity, perfection of the universe, and the Light itself.
This is the point at which an egoistic desire to “snatch” everything for one’s own sake wakes up: “Can I steal eternity? Can I reign?” Our actions that are oriented to bestowal absorb lots of the Light. This is the moment when we stumble.
It’s a very special, “juicy” condition. The desire that we acquire in it strives for the upper Light, and it’s a billion times bigger than everything that was revealed to us before.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/20/13, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar”