Answer: This negative feeling is given to us on purpose. Everything is measured accurately according to the relations between the Light and the vessels. The Creator measures it according to the created being in the shattered system so that we will exert ourselves in order to correct ourselves and thus attain bestowal. Then we will feel the good correct state.
If we didn’t have negative feelings now, we would never feel the state we are in. Our vessels of perception are vessels of assessment: I feel only what I assess as good or bad.
If I see something, then it is a sign that it is important for me: I am either afraid of it or love it, want to get close to it or draw away from it. I feel only what I care about. The attribute of bestowal doesn’t interest us at all, and so it doesn’t exist in our world, and we are all only in the attribute of receiving.
But if, according to nature’s program, we have to reach the attribute of bestowal, then we are given a chance to bring ourselves to it from the attribute of receiving, meaning from the corrupted attribute opposite to bestowal. This is called the “shattering.” There was a good program that worked well but then it broke down. Now we have to learn how to move from the corrupt state to the corrected state.
Thus we will learn the program itself, so as not to exist in it like angels. When I correct the program myself and see all the evil and the corruptions in it, understanding how good it can be if it operates correctly in the system, in its opposite form, then I discover the actual essence of the program, the program planner, and I get to know His thoughts towards the created beings, which is called the “thought of creation.” I am actively incorporated in this program and I acquire the Creator’s nature that is dressed in me. He begins to operate in me, forcing my muscles, my bones, and my brain to move. At the same time, I feel that it is the Creator who is dressed in me, not some unknown force.
First I was operated by my ego but didn’t realize it. Then there was the inner split when I discovered that the ego operates me, that there are two: I and the ego with disparity between them. Then I wanted the attribute of bestowal to manage me instead of the ego. Then, in the attribute of bestowal, I felt the upper root that created both the ego and the good force, and thus I reach adhesion.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/5/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam