Throughout history, human development occurred with a person being afraid to enjoy for his own sake. He was afraid not only to enjoy the Light but also to disturb the restriction; the breaking occurred only once, and he can keep himself from this because he is afraid of whether or not he can withstand the pleasures that will be revealed to him through bestowing upon the Creator.
After all, the feeling of one’s similarity to the Creator brings great pleasure. And it is even a greater pleasure to feel how the Creator enjoys you, how you are united into one. It is similar to the pleasure that a baby experiences from closeness with his mother, how much the mother enjoys him, and he enjoys her, and from pleasing each other.
A person feels great fear because immense pleasures are revealed to him: NRNHY de NRNHY instead of Nefesh de Nefesh. It is an immense Light that is revealed from the feeling that he gives something to the Master because NRNHY is born from bestowal upon the Creator who is revealed to a person. And that is where all the work is concentrated.
Spiritual work is not about the meal that is arranged on the king’s table, but the feeling of the Master, one’s similarity to Him; it is with this enjoyment. By trying to be like the Master, I become like Him in something. I enjoy not only the fact that I bring Him pleasure, His love for me and my love for Him, but I begin to enjoy this very position, my status.
This reveals an enormous Light and the pleasure that did not exist before in the created being in his decisions, feelings, and reactions. And that is why I first should equip myself with the vessels, which is called “awe.” Otherwise, I will not be able to approach any action correctly, and everything that is revealed will immediately disappear without any use. It would be as if I poured wine into bags, and it immediately leaked out, or poured flour into barrels only to rot there. Nothing can be done; everything needs to completely match the other; all contents must be stored in its specific container.
That is why a person is afraid that he will begin to enjoy the greatness of the Creator, His love and reciprocity which he feels in the two united HaVaYaH: HaVaYaH of the Direct Light and HaVaYaH of the Reflected Light clothed in each other. The Light that is revealed in them has never existed in reality. If a person prepares himself for this trial, then he will be able to reveal the status of the Creator correctly and withstand it in bestowal.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/15/13, Shamati #38