Answer: We can judge a person himself (as it’s usually done), and we can judge his qualities while loving him. That is, we separate all this into layers: I love him like my young child and see what negative qualities are inherent in him by nature: suppose, he got this from his grandfather, great grandfather, or other ancestors.
I am trying to divide into layers what was given to him by nature and trying to relate to him differently, both to him and his qualities. Here, I can justify or judge him.
I can evoke in him an appropriate attitude towards me: This is me, and this is not mine. What is not mine is going to stay in me, I can do nothing with this. My “I” must be built in such a way that I compensate what is “not mine”—all my egoistic anti-social inclinations—in order to establish contact with others.
That is, the trial is multifaceted. The main thing is to play this and gradually organize for better perception in order to come into contact with others later because I understand him and he understands me. Even without looking—this happens in our feelings, at the subconscious level, not looking at a person, not seeing him—I can already feel him, and he can feel me.
Amazing phenomena occur here, such as the absence of human contact, overcoming the distance. All our physical characteristics, our qualities, and senses, sight, hearing, smell, taste, tactile, are dissolved together with our animal body. We begin to perceive each other at the information level, the level of feeling. His mind and heart are what is in contact with me. A gradual movement forward is taking place.
Question: It turns out that every time I get rid of part of my ego, I move toward unity, is this true?
Answer: Up to the point that you begin to feel the inner essence of people, you begin to perceive it correctly; otherwise, you will not be able to feel, one determines the other. This gradually raises you from the animate level to the human level, the level of everyone’s integral inner essence.
From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 12/18/11