When time after time a man is rejected from unity and he is yearning for it again, he is going through a chain of situations that are called “exile.” He begins to feel more and more that this is exile. Exile from what?
Here there is a whole series of clarifications: exile from the good state, exile from understanding, and exile from what can fulfill my ego. But I begin to receive everything in spite of all this. It is not important to me what I should feel. Even if I will not feel anything, the main thing is that I will rise above this state so the exile for me will be the lack of the quality of bestowal is in me.
When I annul myself, I stop feeling my state. If I annul my “I” (my personality): I do not exist, only the Creator exists and I as if disappear in Him, then I do not feel myself. The only thing I want is to enter to the quality of bestowal, this love that fulfills everything around me. If I make such an effort, I begin to feel that I really work with Him in harmony. And this movement is already conscious and is expressed as the correct exile.
I begin to change my values. If before I felt the fulfillment, the understanding, the good feeling, and all the personal things were sublime, I no longer do now.
Now, the most important and primary thing for me is the yearning for the quality of bestowal. Even better, if I strive to it above imperfect situations because this gives me full confidence that it is not my ego that pushes me forward.
It weakens me, I feel bad, I feel out of place, but in spite of these situations, I am attracted to the quality of bestowal, to the Creator, to this field that fulfills everything that is around. By annulling myself, I become transparent toward this field and the upper Light passes through me.
And then suddenly it is revealed that the Creator accompanies me, as if saying to Moses, (to my point in the heart) “Come to Pharaoh.” It means, I begin to see when He awakens the ego in me He at the same time helps me to be connected to Him. Why? Because when he awakens my ego, He awakens great suffering. And I now, if I can be attracted to the quality of bestowal, it is not for the fulfillment because it is against my ego: so, he helps me to make my first restriction (Tzimtzum) and so I go forward all the while increasing my efforts in the direction of the quality of bestowal despite what I myself feel.
The main thing here is to annul ourselves and to be attracted to the quality of bestowal. In this case I’m already building above the vessel, the desire, a screen and Reflected light. This is the first spiritual stage.
After I direct myself, I exit to such a level that I rise above the “Pharaoh.” This state is what is called the “escape from Egypt.” I rose above my ego; certainly I don’t run away from it to any place, it exists in me, but under the “screen,” and I above it. This is the meaning of the “Exodus from Egypt” when I, in my feeling, am not in the slavery of my ego.
From KabTV’s “Foundations of the Integral Society” 4/1/12