There are many ways we can check our desire in which all the clarifications take place: “What for? Why? Where does it come from and where is it leading to? By what means can I advance? How can I check whether my goal is the right one? What are my true intentions? Could it be that it is simply my egoistic desire and personal interests that naturally attract me, and that everything that is against them repels me?”
A very close and thorough examination is needed here. At the same time we should be careful not to be too absorbed in these clarifications because it is part of my work, only half of the “half a Shekel” that is my part. The other half should be expressed in action. The action is studying together with the group, feeling the friends, and the examination during the study: Is it in the same line of thought with everyone else, in contact with the teacher and the group?
The second half of the “half a Shekel” ends when a person receives the change from Above. All our efforts should end in attaining an open deficiency that waits for salvation from Above, like Nukva, the female desire that opens herself to receive the correction.
This is how we should prepare ourselves for the lesson. Here a lot depends on the greatness of the source from which we receive this bestowal, from the immense height of The Book of Zohar and its authors. The mechanism that operates in The Book of Zohar is the world of Ein Sof because it passes the upper Light from the head of Zeir Anpin, the Light of Ein Sof.
If a person works on all the levels: in his feelings, his connection with the group, with the teacher, with the state of the world, with the systems of the worlds, with the upper force, and connects it all to the one mechanism that he operates now, then there is hope that his awakening and his action will evoke an awakening from Above. And his prayer (MAN) will draw the response (MAD) from Above.
The prayer (MAN) (Mei Nukvin – female waters) is the desire, the deficiency. The response that comes from Above is MAD (Mei Dhurin – male waters), the power to overcome. We have to feel that we turn the weak, meaningless, painful, and defective state into bestowal, power, and correction, and feel inside us how our MAN turns into MAD
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/11/12, The Zohar