Only the force that I develop in front of myself to attract me to bestowal is a sign of spiritual advancement. Sometimes, we do not understand what is going on; why there is no advancement if so much effort has been applied. We are on this path for so many years, but still cannot finish the period of preparation. What else is required of us?
And we do not understand that we have been waiting all that time for some kind of force to come and push us instead of using our own actions to create the force that would attract us forward rather than pushing from behind. We take this motivation from the environment in order to move forward due to the greatness of the goal, bestowal.
This is all our work, the freedom of choice, annulling ourselves and raising the environment. Everything is in order to become inspired by the goal and elevate it. It is not enough that I attach myself to it. I need a very powerful force of attraction that can outweigh my ego and make me revolve around this goal day and night, to lose sleep over it.
If I manage to create such a large attractive force, then I will move forward.
This is the human level, opposite to all the previous steps. This is not a natural development that comes from nature and happens by itself. Sufferings will not help there; they will not propel me forward. Only my own efforts and concentration of forces, using all the advices of Kabbalists and all the means that will influence me and inspire the greatness of the goal, will help me move forward so that I rush towards it.
And the goal is bestowal to which I am going without any other calculations, goals, or rewards, nothing, but pure bestowal.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/28/11, Shamati