The Creator puts one’s hand on the good fate and says: “Take it!” He gives a person desire, awakens in him the question about the meaning of life and impressions, and arranges everything for him, bringing him to the place where he can realize himself, that is, to receive answers to his questions.
But the question is: Where is the person himself here? After all, everything is already predetermined by how I am structured, what kind of education I received, and how I was directed until this very moment. If I take a look back on my life, I will see that it was always turning somehow, like some kind of taut spring. And even though I don’t see clearly Who was turning it, nevertheless someone was arranging everything for me: gave me the question about the meaning of life, organized the group that I found, the books.
Everything is already organized from Above, and it’s as if they took me by the ear and brought me to the correct place. So where is my free choice here?
It turns out that free choice begins long after this. After you are brought to the group that is studying the wisdom of Kabbalah, you begin to study, receive impressions, and become overwhelmed with sensations, and it then seems to you that you finally found your place. But actually, you still don’t understand anything, and all of this is not yet what you need to reach.
The place of your free choice is that empty area, that white spot that you need to fill. It is ahead of you, and you still haven’t discovered it. In the meantime, you study and are thrown from state to state without any choice. When a bad state comes, you fall into depression, and when a good state comes, you are happy.
Sometimes you receive understanding because the desire to know everything appears in you; sometimes your feelings arise as the desire to feel awakens in you. And in this way you are taken through all kinds of states together with the group, with the environment. But in the meantime, the current carries you, without any free action of your own.
And thus it continues, until you reach the empty place that you need to recognize and on which you need to concentrate all your attention. This is so since it is specifically in it that you realize yourself. And if you don’t realize your free choice there, nothing will happen.
All that is in the hands of the Creator will definitely come true. But no one can do anything with that empty place without your correct cooperation. And this is what the wisdom of Kabbalah talks about!
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/20/2011, “Introduction to TES”