Cursory Thoughts On Shamati, “What Is The Difference Between A Shade of Kedusha And A Shade Of Sitra Achra”
The shadow means that I am in the dark. I feel impotent. I do not feel the flavor in spiritual work. I do not wish to do anything. I feel tired of everything as if my tires have been deflated. So, what do I do?
If I understand that all of this comes to me for the purpose of advancing me forward and to make room for my efforts, I begin to regard the shadow as a flirtation, the Light playing with me. It conceals itself on purpose so that I would reveal it. It turns away from me on purpose so that I would step toward it.
Through these games, I begin to feel that I am interacting with it. Its concealments serve as an invitation to me. Kabbalists compare it to the way a woman behaves in relation to a man. She conceals herself on purpose so that the man would reveal her. This is the entire purpose of clothes, external appearance, make up, and so forth.
When I discover an invitation in the concealment of the Light to make a little more effort and to show my attitude, inclination, and desire, this is referred to as the holy shadow. However, if I am incapable and the concealment does not attract me, then everything is bland and completely tasteless. “Why do I need all this? Leave me alone; I do not need anything.” It is said that the shade of Sitra Achra (the evil inclination) pushes me away.
The way we advance is with the help of the holy shadow, when we are pushed away by the shade of Sitra Achra. Everything depends on one’s preparation. Even before he reveals the shadow, he is already prepared for the descent, the lack of flavor. He knows its purpose is to reveal his desire for the Light, the Creator, or bestowal.
I can reveal it precisely where I do not have any personal, egoistic interest. This is because my ego is not attracted to it, and there, I can show that I really do not desire the Light for myself. This work is above desire.
From the 6th lesson at the Toronto Convention 9/18/11
Cursory Thoughts On Shamati, “What Is The Habit Becomes A Second Nature, In The Work”
Thoughts On Shamati, “What Is ‘My Friend Is Concealed’ In The Work?”
Cursory Thoughts On Shamati, “What Is The Reason For The Heaviness One Feels When Annulling Before The Creator”