I always have to look for ways to go against my ego. If I address the group properly, I feel rejection. It is not coming from the group itself, it’s inside me. I feel that I don’t want to connect with them or participate in the gatherings of friends; I don’t want to embrace them or see them at all. I do it because everyone else is doing it, and I feel uncomfortable.
In reality, I’m fed up with this. I want to quit studying and leave the group. I see that this doesn’t yield any result. But it doesn’t yield any result for my ego, that’s true! When the truth starts unfolding, I see that I will not get any profit for my ego.
And after this revelation many people run away because they can’t perceive this correctly or understand that they are weighing this on the egoistic scale. This is the place in which they have to make up for this lack with faith above reason, connect with the environment no matter what, and open themselves up to it, demanding a spiritual awakening.
This is the exact point at which our spiritual work begins, and those destined to run away do it here. Those who stay are those who either have a special role in the general system, or those who can truly exert themselves. A person doesn’t know what’s happening to him yet, but will later reach a correct spiritual calculation.
That’s why it is said that in the place where sinners will stumble, fall, and disappear from the horizon, the righteous will rise and go on.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/22/2011, Shamati #240