A question I received: A few months ago I started studying Kabbalah with the Ari Online classes for beginners. I am proud to say I have already watched twenty two lessons! I’m now beginning to understand that I need a group and a teacher in order to gain a better perception of the study material (I already have the books). The problem is that my wife is opposed to my studies, and our relationship is very uneasy at the moment, although I am doing everything I can to save our marriage. I have registered for the Congress that will be held in the United Kingdom from the 7th to the 9th of November, but my wife is absolutely against me going. She believes that family bonds are much more important than my studies, or my “hobby,” as she likes to call it. What should I do? How can I explain to her that I need to study Kabbalah and attend the Congress?
My Answer: If she sees that you love her, but you also have something else that’s important to you in this life, then she has to come to terms with it and accept it with love. If she doesn’t, then what kind of a friend and companion is she, if she egoistically wants to dominate over your entire life? It is written, “A man can sacrifice everything in this world, except his soul,” because one’s soul belongs to the Creator, and he is obligated to return it to Him (to grow close and adhere to Him through equivalence of form). This is the only case when a man would be justified in getting a divorce – if staying married will mean that he has to live in this world in vain.
Test yourself and the Creator, for He is one, and everything comes from Him. If you are serious about the path you have chosen (and I emphatically stress this point) and are willing to leave your wife for it, and if you have explained it to her and she still doesn’t concede, then she’s not the right life partner for you.
Laitman.com Post: What Do You Do with an Unsupportive Wife?
Laitman.com Post: My Wife Is Against Me Studying Kabbalah
Laitman.com Post: Do You Have to Be Married to Study Kabbalah?
Laitman.com Post: Everybody Has Their Own Path
Kabbalah Today Article: Man, Woman, and the Snake Between Them
Lesson: Unconditional Love