Question: I cannot stop dreaming about a family where the Creator is revealed between a couple. Will it interfere with the fulfillment of my dream if my husband doesn’t yearn for the Creator?

Answer: His attitude does not depend on him so you cannot blame him in any way! It is the Creator Himself who gives a person the yearning for the Creator. The Creator brings a person to study the wisdom of Kabbalah. According to The Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot, item 4, it says that the Creator puts a person’s hand on the good fate and says: “Take it, choose this.”

If a desire for the revelation of the Creator has emerged in you, it was given to you by the Creator, whereas your husband was not given this desire. Therefore, you are the one who should fulfill the desire and not him. He is absolutely free.

You cannot know what kind of soul he has and when it has to fulfill itself, and it may very well be that it has already fulfilled itself and is actually here now by your side, in this passive way, only in order to help you fulfill yourself.
[195873]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: How can we respect men and support them along the spiritual path if they are lazy and afraid of working with their egoism?

Answer: It isn’t the fear of working or laziness but a special kind of resistance that a man feels after the shattering of the general vessel. The shattering occurred as a result of the sin of the Tree of Knowledge, which means as result of the incorporation of the female part in it.

The women’s yearning for spirituality is much greater than that of the men, but this does not mean in any way that we should judge the men unfavourably for not having the same yearning.

All the desires, all the yearnings, all the conditions, the external and the internal events, everything comes from Above, from the Creator, and so if a person is in a state in which the only thing that interests him is a football game and a beer, there is no reason to treat him with less respect than a person who yearns for the wisdom of Kabbalah with all his might.

The two states are given by the Creator, and if the Creator gave a football fan the same desire as a person who yearns for the wisdom of Kabbalah, there is no knowing how he would cope with and fulfill this desire; he could in fact be much better at it. We have no right to judge or to classify people.

We must tie everything that happens to the Creator, and so we have to relate to everyone equally, because if we don’t, we are using our ego and want to change people.
[195877]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: Are women able to love others just as they love themselves, without the help of men? Do women unite in order to put pressure on the men?

Answer: Women are totally equal to men according to the opportunities they are given, and there is no point in looking for what they are special in. Each one must simply do her best according to her capabilities in order to receive the outcome, a spiritual reward.
[196193]

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Question: Why is the question most frequently asked by women about how to learn to control our fate?

Answer: Controlling our fate is what the wisdom of Kabbalah engages in. Men are more interested in the purely egoistic question of whether there is life after death. Women are interested in the more sublime question of how we can control our fate. This is indeed a female question.

My teacher Rabash used to say that a man has many opportunities to enjoy this world; he enjoys even if he just looks at a woman, while a woman doesn’t have any pleasure when she looks at a man.

In other words, a woman needs a more convincing argument for her existence. She cannot simply feel pleasure by anything, and this is the reason that a woman in our world embodies a much deeper egoism than a man.

This is what the psychological difference between a man and a woman comes down to, the male and female inclinations and their self-fulfillment.

The self-fulfillment of men and women can be one when they connect and are incorporated into each other, and it is through the right connection of their internal attributes that they can attain unity. It isn’t when they merge but when they remain different and increasingly more opposite and at the same time connected above their differences in order to attain the upper goal.
[195483]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/9/16

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Question: Why is a woman never satisfied with anything? What can we do so that a woman would be satisfied and calm?

Answer: A woman in our world has very few resources with which to be filled.

She receives filling mainly from her husband, from the family, from her children, from the attention she receives, but she isn’t always satisfied with that. Sometimes she is satisfied with her husband and sometimes with her children. As long as she cares about them, this care fills her, but being satisfied with the family isn’t only a family problem because many external factors affect the family. So a woman in our world is much more susceptible to feelings of shortage, lack, and anxiety than men. This is due to Malchut, which always feels a deficiency.

It seems that there is nothing simpler than providing a woman with a filling—a little attention from her husband and the children, a feeling of a the right connection would fully satisfy her, but although she needs so little, it is still impossible to achieve.

Question: Why is it impossible to give a woman this feeling?

Answer: Because this is actually what creation is based upon. The ego cannot be filled in its initial uncorrected state, and the woman is the embodiment of this state. The majority who yearn for the wisdom of Kabbalah are women.

They have a great need for the meaning of life. Although it isn’t on a level as high as the men, they are the ones who actually feel dissatisfied with life.

Rabash used to say that it is enough for a man to watch a soccer game, to see a pretty woman, to have a beer in the bar with some friends, and feel his life is successful.

On the other hand, a woman needs so many fillings and none of them depend on her. A man has many pleasures in life. Everything was created for him. And what was created for a woman: only her dependence on everyone.

Therefore, we should understand her nature.

Question: Do we have to understand her and to be more aware of her needs?

Answer: The problem is that it will not help. Of course we have to ease a woman’s suffering in this world as much as possible by understanding where it comes from, but eventually a woman will be able to calm down only if we Kabbalists attain, by the unity among us, a state in which she will feel the Light that comes from us. This is the only thing that will fill her.
[195851]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/9/16

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Question: My husband and I study the wisdom of Kabbalah together. Is it worthwhile for us to just read together or must I also listen to his explanations in order to increase his spiritual desire and to let him to feel great?

Answer: In the stage when we are not “perfected” and are not under an anti-egoistic Masach (screen), it is not useful to impose our states on each other. It is preferable to keep a distance. Your husband has states of ascent and descent, his rate of advancement, his problems with the group, and so forth. A woman also has her own states.

I would advise couples to intervene less in each other’s spiritual states, and this is as long as a permanent Masach hasn’t appeared for each of them. Although the couple can talk about their spiritual states, they must be compassionate with each other.
[195636]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: We women try to make our husbands’ and children’s lives easier. We worry about their daily lives and organize entertaining activities for their leisure and the holidays. Very often, we even take their chores upon ourselves. Should we perhaps try to do the opposite? Should we try to complicate our husbands’ lives so that they will suffer more, so they awaken faster to advance along the spiritual path?

Answer: A woman should not annoy her husband. She should help him do everything on a reciprocal basis to provide each other with the most easy and comfortable existence. There is no need to create any special difficulties.

The hardships a person overcomes along his spiritual path are spiritual and internal. If a woman grumbles and bangs on pots and pans, it will not help her husband advance spiritually, and she will only harm herself this way.

She should support and help her husband, create the right conditions, and gently push him along the spiritual way, and nothing more.
[195870]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: Will the Light operate on the husband of a woman who studies the wisdom of Kabbalah regularly, who tells her husband about everything she reads, and shares her Kabbalistic experiences with him? And, will he eventually become a Kabbalist? If a husband accepts the fact that she studies Kabbalah, but he is busy working and providing for the family, will her studying affect his material success?

Answer: There is no difference between a man and a woman in spiritual work, and everything depends only on a person’s spiritual actions.

The man can provide for the family, and she can engage in the spiritual part.

As for the second part of the question, I can say that her studies will not interfere with her husband’s material success if she doesn’t disturb him. She mustn’t upset him by trying to teach him the basics of the wisdom of Kabbalah with every move he makes.

She must let him live his life quietly.
[195340]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: How can I help my husband become spiritual?

Answer: First and foremost, he needs to study in a group. It makes no difference if we are talking about a man or a woman in the physical body. For example, if, on the screen in front of me, I see a group in which there is one man sitting in the back and all of the rest are women, I actually relate to them as a group of men because I perceive them according to their longing.

I see that these people are very strong. They are trying and longing to develop spiritually. Indeed, their form is female, but this is only a mask and a unique physiology, nothing more than this.

In spirituality, to give birth, to feed, give, breast-feed, and develop are the actions of a man on a Kabbalistic level. From within himself, he grows and gives birth within himself to the next level. He develops, nourishes, and takes care of it. So, is this the role of a woman or a man?

We need to consider everything according to a person’s spiritual deeds and actions.
[195044]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: What is the nature of men and women according to the wisdom of Kabbalah?

Answer: In nature there are two genders, two extremes, two poles: male and female; there is no middle pole.

There are two forces: the force of the Creator, the bestower, the giver, the source, is the force of giving; and the force of the creature is desire, a deficiency, emptiness, a desire to be fulfilled, to attract to itself, and absorb everything into itself. These two poles, the positive (masculine) emits and bestows from itself and the negative (feminine) draws to itself and wants to be fulfilled.

The creature was initially feminine because in all of us there its only a single desire, a desire to be filled, meaning to absorb, to draw toward ourselves, everything that we initially want. So in relation to the Creator, all of us are feminine.

Later we divide into those who overcome their egoism and go toward others. They are able to transcend their egoism in spite of the desire to absorb, and they work with an intention to bestow, with altruism, concern for others, the fulfillment of others. They are called men (masculine). And those who cannot overcome their egoism and still want only to fill themselves, think only about this, are concerned in every minute, every second, every moment only that everything will be good for them, they are called women (feminine) by the wisdom of Kabbalah.

In the wisdom of Kabbalah, the genders are distinguished according to spiritual indicators: Someone who bestows is called a man (masculine), someone who receives is called a woman (feminine). In addition, a person can change and be in one state at any moment and in another moment, the other. This doesn’t depend on one’s corporeal gender. If a person longs for spiritual development, one longs to be a man in the spiritual sense, a bestower.

There were many female Kabbalists in history. In the spiritual sense, they were called men and were above all other men.

So we must not relate to gender from the physical or corporeal aspect of men and women but according to whether the person is a bestower or a receiver. Currently I would say the women who are studying with us long for the characteristic of bestowal more than the men.

Question: From the perspective of the wisdom of Kabbalah, in what manner must a man function in a family?

Answer: In a family, the man needs to provide an example of how he transcends his egoism. But preferably not in a physical form (although this is necessary, especially for children). A man must show an example to  his children of longing for spiritual development, since without spiritual development our world will be destroyed.
[194903]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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