At the Convention we tried to pass the Machsom, to be born into the spiritual world, to acquire a new sense and feel what there is outside the desire for pleasure. This perception is called external because it is aimed at bestowal.

What we found is that this is very difficult. The incoming pressure immediately cooled us down, “freezing” us.  We no longer wanted it, thinking that we were incapable of it. “Anything but this, anything but true unity and the Upper World that is inside it.”

As a result, our expectations did not come true. Egoism, Pharaoh, pushed us back. This enabled us to feel slight hatred for it, to reveal our enemy and hater, to start to understand that without overcoming it, we will not be born. The opponent has been identified and we discern him more and more clearly.

Now we have to carry out several more analogous actions. They will take on a new form each time because nothing is repeated in spirituality. It will seem as if the actions are the same, but they will be felt differently and in the next state we won’t be able to recognize the previous state any longer.

We are talking about the contractions of birth, called “Tzirim” in Hebrew, which is also the word for door hinges. The mother’s womb that we are in resembles the form of the closed letter Mem (ם). Mem is Bina, which closes us between two doors. In Hebrew the word “door” is Dalet. In other words, we are between two letter Dalets (ד), which make up the letter Mem.

During the contractions we push on the doors so they will open by sliding around the hinges. That is how the fetus pushes from the inside in order to come to the outside. (Tzir is a hinge, Tzirim are the hinges of the door, and Rehem is a womb, which comes from the word Rahamim, mercy, the quality of Bina.)

The Pharaoh, our egoism, obstructs our birth, having been deliberately created by the Creator in order to exert the opposite pressure until we acquire a strong enough desire, until we become worthy of seeing and feeling the Creator, the external reality, and to live in it. Otherwise we would be premature and not ready for the new world. It turns out that Pharaoh is a good force. Even though he appears like an enemy to us, in reality his opposition forms a sufficiently strong desire in us in order to open up the doors of the womb and let us emerge to the outside.

We have begun the work that will bring us out from Pharaoh’s power and I am very happy that we have reached this stage. I have waited for it a long time.

The greater the disappointment and the stronger the opposition, the deeper is the despair after a person’s expectations are unanswered and he is thrown back. This is the best thing for a person because his hatred for Pharaoh becomes greater. We have gone through one of the birth contractions. A few more contractions – and we will be born to the Light!

Let us force the speed; this depends on our work. Let the force with which we are dashing forward, and the force of the Pharaoh who pulls us back, unite into one decisive leap toward birth!
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From the lesson on Rabash’s article 11/12/10

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An e-mail I received: Dear Dr. Laitman, I think I speak for many when I say that I am overcome by great disappointment. What should I do with it?

Answer: On the last day of the Convention I often heard that many people had hoped to make the breakthrough into the spiritual world at this Convention and now they are overcome by total despair!

I will say it up front: Personally I am astounded by the result of the Convention that just passed. And it’s not because of the record amount of participants or the positive reaction in the press, but because of the inner changes and maturation of every participant and the whole world group. For the first time ever people went through states that they would not be able to go through individually. Extremely important inner discernments took place inside them.

And now about your expectations: If your desire was for true spirituality, for bestowal and love to your neighbor, then you would not experience any despair because you always have the opportunity to bestow and love. No one gives it to you or takes it away.

The first spiritual quality, Bina, is an aspiration to Hafetz Hesed (being above your egoism), the sensation outside of your desire. If you aspired to this, then you wouldn’t care what state you are in at all because everything comes from the Creator and only He decides, according to His plan, what will happen to all of you and to every one of you. Your only reaction to everything should be joy and the desire to be under the power of the Creator, the quality of bestowal. The Machsom is overcome by those who run away from their egoism and agree to any conditions in order to be freed from it, agreeing to take on the condition of “everyone as one” (as one man with one heart or desire) and the mutual guarantee, “one for all and all for one.”

None of us has the power to tear away from one’s egoism. Until now we have talked about it, but were unable to precisely discern it inside us because this is precisely the quality that does not let us get through to spirituality, the quality of bestowal. We are unable to distinguish what it is and where it is inside us. It hides inside us like a snake and we cannot identify it exactly, always confusing it with other qualities.

Just like pain during an illness, only the pain of disappointment helps us to recognize our egoism and to find out that it is not good, but is our evil ruler, Pharaoh. We have to grow so disappointed that we will hate it inside us and desire just one thing – to detach from it. However, in order to come to this state of despair, we must first aspire to it with our entire egoism (Lo Lishma). This is what I talked about before the Convention, that “we are coming out of Egypt.” And everyone was sure that this has to happen. If we did not have this confidence, then we would not be able to become disappointed and discern precisely this evil (Pharaoh) inside us, which does not allow us to ascend to the quality of bestowal.

In order to awaken this evil immediately, I declared at the very beginning of the Convention that we are obliged to attain unity, that all of our work at the Convention must be done by way of deep research of ourselves and our attitude to all of the friends. However, instead of the “revelation of the heavens” that we expected, it immediately brought about a descent, cooling us down. With my entreaty to search for unity and to ascend above us, above one’s “self,” I wanted to show the participants of the Convention that we are not ready for it yet, and as a result of this feeling, the participants entered a trance.

On one hand I was very happy about this state of the “realization of evil.” But on the other hand I started to fear that the group would not be able to come out of this state in such a short time. It’s similar to how a sick person discovers pain and has to understand that it indicates an illness, and then starts treating it with the help of a doctor, the Creator. Besides, 30 to 40% of the Convention participants were people new to Kabbalah and did not understand what is happening to them at all. Therefore, it was decided to stop with one blow to Pharaoh, your egoistic hopes to ascend above them.

However, precisely these processes that we experienced are what prepared us for the passage, one that isn’t egoistic, aspiring to reveal fulfillment, but that desires to reveal the opportunity to bestow, to unite “as one man with one heart,” agreeing to the mutual guarantee. The result of the Convention is the first blow to Pharaoh, our self-love, our egoistic hopes to “break through the Machsom” and receive the Upper World as well as this world inside of us, inside our desires, inside our fulfillment.

Baal HaSulam writes that when a person attains the spiritual boundary, he is convinced that the spiritual world does not belong to him and only then does he break through the Klipa, the boundary, and acquire the quality of bestowal.

The revelation of our unwillingness took place immediately, at my very first lecture, when I said in the beginning that instead of external actions we have to delve inside ourselves, into the connection among us, into the mutual guarantee. Immediately, everything turned to ice! Our egoism came through, but this revelation of evil inside us is also a great attainment that was brought about by none other than our unity (the holiness of day).

Over the course of our Convention we discovered that Pharaoh is inside us and not outside. He received his first blow through the fact that we are disappointed in the results of the Convention. We thought (we being Pharaoh) that we will receive something inside us, but we did not receive anything. This is the first blow to Pharaoh, our egoism. We have discovered that we won’t receive anything inside our egoistic desire.

Now we have a greater ability to tell in which qualities spirituality has to become revealed inside us. We have a better understanding that it won’t happen inside Pharaoh, and about what it means to think about the Upper One. This means not to think about yourself. For now each of us simply shook from impatience: When will the miracle happen so that we will receive everything in this world along with the spiritual world – inside of us?! Now we have a new feeling of the need to separate from the thing that brings us such disappointment, and this is the beginning of rejecting egoism.

We paid a high price for this lesson, but it cost a lot more than that. Precisely the disappointment, the blow to our self-love, our egoism, our hopes to receive, is the greatest acquisition that we could possibly wish for, and I am overcome with joy at seeing egoists who are disappointed.

Now you must only realize what has happened to you. Depending on each person’s preparation, a part of you realizes it mentally, and a part will still experience several more disappointments in your sensations, and then you will realize it. In any case there will be one conclusion: A person will no longer tie himself inseparably to his egoism. Precisely this blow to our unjustified, egoistic hopes will help us to start moving away from it (the Pharaoh)!

It is possible that we will still need to experience more blows, but they will already be going in the same direction that we acquired at this Convention. Perhaps we will be able to go through them not only at Conventions, but inside our daily virtual connection, in the sensation that we have just acquired together. For now let us truly desire just one thing: to reject our egoism, which is the only evil there is, and to ascend from our “selves” into the quality of bestowal.

The Creator has presented this great gift to us! There is none else besides Him! Write to me and ask questions at the lessons. I did not lie to you, but to your egoism.

With love to you,
Dr. Laitman
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Question: Why do we need hatred?

Answer: While I am not familiar with you, there is no mutual inclusion between us, the connection between us is not revealed, and I don’t feel hatred toward you. You may live somewhere in Alaska, and you are not my concern. However, the closer you are to me, the more you enter my field of vision.

If you are my neighbor, I watch you carefully: You left garbage somewhere; yesterday there was a lot of noise coming from your apartment, and so on. In this manner, we reveal how connected we are to each other. However, we are all egoists. Therefore, our ego, plus the connection between us gives birth to hatred.

Question: But when will this hatred go away?

Answer: It won’t go away! We have nowhere to go and nowhere to run from each other. This is the problem! We need to reach peace and agreement between us above our hatred without destroying it, but by rising above it. This constitutes the achievement of perfection, as it is written: “All sins will be covered by love!” The word “Shalom” in Hebrew means perfection (Shlemut).

From the show “Kabbalah For Beginners” of 10.27.2010

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Question: How should we work with the quality of Esau (the egoistic desire) so it won’t awaken during the Convention?

Answer: It won’t awaken, you can be sure about that. We are coming to the Convention prepared, “warmed up,” having the understanding that we are gathering in order to unite.

We are leaving all problems, doubts, and opposition at home because we know that we are unable to overcome our egoism, Esau, directly. The only way we should act is by going around, according to the method of Jacob, which comes from the word Akev – to go around.

This means that it is useless to fight your nature head on. We have to come out of it, ascend above it, and acquire a new nature of bestowal. Then, with its help, gradually and in parts, we must gradually use egoism for the sake of bestowal. Our egoism is a special force existing inside us that we have to take into account. However, we shouldn’t fight against it, but only worry about unity and mutual guarantee, constantly increasing the right line, the force of Jacob, the force of bestowal.

Then we will reveal the Creator and will be able to oppose Esau. However, this doesn’t mean that we will be fighting him. For now we are correcting ourselves by strengthening the line called Jacob inside us – bestowal and mutual unity. The Esau that is in us receives blows from the whole process and starts to understand that he should also unite with Jacob.

Therefore, there won’t be any threats or wars. He will desire to interact with the right line himself since he will see that the opportunities at his disposal do not enable him to be fulfilled. He lacks Jacob, bestowal, in order to advance in life.

That is why we should think only about attaining unity and consolidation. All the other problems will be corrected by becoming attached to the right line and strengthening it even more.
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From the “Weekly Torah Portion” show on 11/5/10

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Question: Why is it painful for egoism to nullify itself?

Answer: This depends on the importance of the goal. We are forced to nullify ourselves in this world as well: At work we have to follow the orders of our supervisors, at home we have to take care of our children, provide for our family, and so on.

After I’m done with all my obligations I have only about an hour or two of left for personal time. It turns out that I constantly nullify myself, having no other choice as I am obligated to live. However, I receive the reward inside my egoism!

On the other hand, here we are rejecting egoism in order to receive something more important: spiritual life, eternity, perfection, and harmony. For now we don’t feel the importance of this reward, and the environment has to convince us of this.

In our case I have chosen an environment and I am connected to everyone. Never in history has there been a state the likes of which we are in today. We are the first generation of correction, and we have already merited to receive the method and to begin realizing it together, among thousands of friends.

So what is left for us to do? We have to nullify ourselves! If we do this together, then it will be easy for everyone. That is exactly how it will happen!
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From the lecture on Unity Day 10/31/10

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The time has come to return to a natural system, to a close cohesion that Nature, the degree of Bina, demands of us. We have to bring ourselves to the equivalence, homeostasis, and similarity of properties and from total brokenness ascend to a level where we will be completely connected as parts of one healthy body.

All forces that affect us do so for a single purpose: to push us to a natural form of reciprocity and love. However, if our egoism has grown while we haven’t yet found the correct interconnection among us, then the discrepancy between the states, the difference between the demanded unification and factual separation, is experienced as suffering.

This is why life is becoming harder. The supplementary systems designated to soften the predicament or scare us can no longer help us since we have entered the final stage of evolution and must assemble ourselves into one integrated global system.

Today, humanity is discovering that we are all connected with unbreakable ties, and that is why it simply must realize the law of nature within itself, the law of correct interaction of all parts of creation.
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From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/29/10, “Explanation of the Article, Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah”

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Our state right now is like the state preceding the exodus from Egypt. The closer we come to the exit, the more densely time becomes compressed as it becomes filled with actions, events, and happenings. Therefore a person experiences doubts and everything becomes mixed up inside him: myself, Pharaoh, Moses, the Egyptians, the nation of Israel, inside of Egypt, and outside of it. All of these are my inner states.

• If I am inside my ego, it is called Egypt.
• If I want to ascend above the ego, it means I want to run away from the Egyptian slavery.
• If my egoistic desire rules over me and I have doubts, this means Pharaoh rules over me.
• If I want to run away from the ego and look at it from afar, this means I am Moses.

All of these states whirl through a person and if he realizes that he is under these influences, it’s wonderful. He performs very fast and significant discernments at great speed.

During the Convention we will fall under the influence of a great common inspiration that has great power. Therefore, we must only continue and not let the state calm down. The most important thing is to be joyful even if it seems like the things that are happening are unpleasant and worrisome.

Even if bad thoughts and doubts greatly outnumber good thoughts and clarity, this is our inner work and we have to advance. We shouldn’t forget that the deepest darkness is felt before the actual breakthrough, before the exit from Egypt.

We shouldn’t wait for that darkness, but should constantly think about the Light and the escape. However, together with our aspiration for the Light, understanding, and greater sensation, it’s possible to experience a completely opposite tendency and to be immersed in darkness, fog, and confusion. That is how things should be and we will go through these states together!

Let’s help each other by expressing how we accept all the states with joy. Joy is the most powerful force because despite everything, you are happy because you are carrying out the Creator’s work and are advancing spiritually.

It is necessary to go through difficult states in order to break out of one’s ego and ascend above it. Good luck to you!

[25574]

From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/1/10, “Ve Zot Le Yehuda”

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Question: How can the group escape a state that is called “a gathering of clowns”? What should we do if we manage to fall into this state?

Answer: It is impossible not to fall and become a “gathering of clowns.” There is no achievement of goodness without the preliminary revelation of evil. Goodness is built over the evil, over its realization and correction.

“I created the evil inclination,” the Creator says. In other words, goodness does not exist in nature. And if you think that I am good, then I conceal myself and reveal only my reverse side, only evil. So don’t search for anything positive in the world; the world is evil. And as far as we are concerned, our goal and our entire work are meant to reveal the opposite of evil – goodness (to switch from the reverse side to the front side, from Ahoraim to Panim).

Therefore, we need to be ready that any goodness that we will ever become worthy of will demand that we first reveal ourselves as evil. We hide, smooth over the evil, and run away from negative sensations in life.

Our egoistic protective force constantly draws false pictures to us only so that we will feel well, compensating the real state of things in our perception and not sensing or discussing the truth. Why should egoism suffer? From the very start it tries to prevent this possibility. In the same manner, a mother sees only good things in her child and only bad things in her neighbor’s child.

One can create an objective perception, independent of one’s egoism, only by accepting the opinion of the group instead of one’s own. Through it, I will be able to relate correctly to myself, the world, and the Creator.

In this manner, I receive a “device” in my hands with which I can aim an objective view in all directions. I have formed the “sixth sense,” and it allows me to establish an attitude to everything irrespective of my nature. Before I lay unconscious under the load of my own ego, and now I am realizing something and already returning to reality.

Building a Kli, mutual guarantee, and unity with the group means acquiring a “device,” a means that allows me to reveal true reality. I learn it according to my level, but I learn it the way it really is: I didn’t see it at all before because I was bought off, and that “backwash” of egoism glued my eyes and ears shut, distorting my whole picture of the world.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/28/10, “According to What is Explained Concerning Love They Friend as Thyself”

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We begin our spiritual path once we acquire a relatively large egoistic desire following millennia of development, notably in this incarnation thanks to the point in the heart. Because of this point, the desire to receive develops faster and more “aggressively,” demanding more as it does. The point drives the desire in an unclear direction so it raises its head and increases its demands from this world.

Developing within the space of our world without the point in the heart, it belonged to the desires of the masses, but now, the spiritual impulse is leading it somewhere else entirely. We continue to develop egoistically, but our ego has grown and now wishes to “devour” all of reality, corporeal as well as spiritual.

With these two forces, man begins his spiritual search until he comes to the group and finds the method of correction. If he utilizes this method correctly by studying the wisdom of Kabbalah with the intention of using the environment to draw the Light, he embarks upon a road of spiritual development. In this process, man’s ego is combined with his aspiration for bestowal, which he derives from the environment. Gradually, a demand grows in his heart, and the Light cultivates it.
[24300]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/21/10, “I Am the First and I Am the Last”

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A person needs an external factor in order to be able to look at himself from aside. If he is included in the group, then it plays the role of that factor in a positive manner, carrying a person forward and supporting him. However, if a person has a weak connection with the group, he will need many inner troubles to push him to exit to the outside because when egoism suffers, it desires to escape from itself.

One way or another, the discernment has to be done from outside. The surest way to do it is to organize an environment that will always let me inside, that will help me and raise me so I am able to get back to the correct analysis in the fastest and easiest way.

One should not sink into the sensations and thoughts of one’s egoism, but always look at it from above, from the Light’s perspective. Egoism works very simply. Just like toy cars that run on batteries, it moves around among obstacles and when bumping into one, it changes the direction. I am always looking for the place with fewer negatives and more positives. My actions are entirely subject to a dual system where there is only “zero” and “one.”

However, if a higher thought comes to me about the reason and the goal, it means I have been awakened from Above, from the following level which no longer belongs to the desire for pleasure. That is how I receive an explanation in my own language, telling me that there is something better out there, something of a different quality or a higher class.

Nevertheless, I am being spoken to in words I understand, “You will feel better there.” And I reply, “I will feel better? Then I want it!” It’s the same as how we behave with little children, coming down to their level of understanding. There is no other way to go until we acquire the higher mind of the new level, the logic of our spiritual parents. And the group helps us to do this.

Sometimes a child absolutely refuses to go somewhere. But suddenly he sees other kids happily going in that direction. Then he also runs after them because if they are going there, that means there is something good there. Nature has made this approach inherent in us from the breaking of the Kelim, from our connection to each other. Even if we don’t listen to our mom (the Upper Level), we do listen to our friends in the group.

However, this isn’t just a group because the Upper Force resides inside it, being the mind and feeling of the parents’ level. I don’t just join a bunch of kids in the neighborhood, but I annul myself before the group and then, inside that self-rejection, I find the Creator.
[24782]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/25/10, “Show Me Your Honor”

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