At the Convention we tried to pass the Machsom, to be born into the spiritual world, to acquire a new sense and feel what there is outside the desire for pleasure. This perception is called external because it is aimed at bestowal.
What we found is that this is very difficult. The incoming pressure immediately cooled us down, “freezing” us. We no longer wanted it, thinking that we were incapable of it. “Anything but this, anything but true unity and the Upper World that is inside it.”
As a result, our expectations did not come true. Egoism, Pharaoh, pushed us back. This enabled us to feel slight hatred for it, to reveal our enemy and hater, to start to understand that without overcoming it, we will not be born. The opponent has been identified and we discern him more and more clearly.
Now we have to carry out several more analogous actions. They will take on a new form each time because nothing is repeated in spirituality. It will seem as if the actions are the same, but they will be felt differently and in the next state we won’t be able to recognize the previous state any longer.
We are talking about the contractions of birth, called “Tzirim” in Hebrew, which is also the word for door hinges. The mother’s womb that we are in resembles the form of the closed letter Mem (ם). Mem is Bina, which closes us between two doors. In Hebrew the word “door” is Dalet. In other words, we are between two letter Dalets (ד), which make up the letter Mem.
During the contractions we push on the doors so they will open by sliding around the hinges. That is how the fetus pushes from the inside in order to come to the outside. (Tzir is a hinge, Tzirim are the hinges of the door, and Rehem is a womb, which comes from the word Rahamim, mercy, the quality of Bina.)
The Pharaoh, our egoism, obstructs our birth, having been deliberately created by the Creator in order to exert the opposite pressure until we acquire a strong enough desire, until we become worthy of seeing and feeling the Creator, the external reality, and to live in it. Otherwise we would be premature and not ready for the new world. It turns out that Pharaoh is a good force. Even though he appears like an enemy to us, in reality his opposition forms a sufficiently strong desire in us in order to open up the doors of the womb and let us emerge to the outside.
We have begun the work that will bring us out from Pharaoh’s power and I am very happy that we have reached this stage. I have waited for it a long time.
The greater the disappointment and the stronger the opposition, the deeper is the despair after a person’s expectations are unanswered and he is thrown back. This is the best thing for a person because his hatred for Pharaoh becomes greater. We have gone through one of the birth contractions. A few more contractions – and we will be born to the Light!
Let us force the speed; this depends on our work. Let the force with which we are dashing forward, and the force of the Pharaoh who pulls us back, unite into one decisive leap toward birth!
From the lesson on Rabash’s article 11/12/10
The End Of A Film In A Dark Hall