Why Do We Feel Good When Others Feel Bad?
In the News (BBC): “Dr Caspar Addyman from Goldsmiths, University of London is an expert on why babies laugh and author of The Laughing Baby.
“At Goldsmiths’ InfantLab, he leads an exciting branch of child development research designing laughter experiments, talking to parents around the world and even monitoring viral social media trends. …
“It’s actually in the second month that you will likely see your baby’s first real smile. …
“By about 3 or 4 months old, you may find that your baby starts to smile at the sound of your familiar voice. …
“Most of us think the starting point for laughing is a funny joke or action, but actually it’s a way of connecting to the people we’re with.”
Question: What does this indicate?
Answer: Children want to receive positive stimuli from their environment. Therefore, if people around them are smiling and laughing, it excites them in a positive way.
Question: We grow up, and all this fades away. We start to take pleasure in the misfortunes of others.
What happens to us? Where does that baby, that infant, go? Where does all of it disappear?
Answer: We sense the state of another person and rejoice in their problems. This instantly reassures us. We understand that it is not happening to us, and so we feel happy.
Question: At what point does this absolute and complete shift in thinking and consciousness?
Answer: When our egoism is aroused. We immediately start to orient ourselves around it.
Question: Now many would disagree and say they are not such egoists, but are quite the opposite. Many write to us saying this is not true, that they are giving, loving people, and so on. When does a person start to recognize this critical view of themselves? What is that moment?
Answer: This is already the next stage.
Question: So the first stage even for an adult is: “I am not an egoist, others are.” And the second stage is?
Answer: Is when they look at themselves.
Question: Will we ever return to that infant state when we are happy for the happiness of others?
Answer: If we create such an atmosphere among our friends, in a group, and so on, then we will return.
Question: So in principle a person should seek friends who look inside themselves?
Answer: Yes.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/8/24
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