Question: On one hand I strive for light, but on the other hand, I am an egoist and want to enjoy. But it turns out that I do not need to strive for the light or strive in a different way because this is night for me.

Answer: Yes, now you are beginning to understand your state.

Question: It says that I should strive, not for the light, but for faith. What does this mean?

Answer: These are different things. The fact is that a person can attain the quality of faith, which will give him a sense of getting closer to the Creator, and then can constantly invoke this quality upon himself.

But if he is not aware that he lacks faith. It is written about this: “Hence, the light becomes darkness for them, and the potion of life is turned into a potion of death for them. It is about them that the writing says,’ Woe onto you who awaits for the day of the Lord; it’s darkness and not light!” (Baal HaSulam, “Introduction to The Study of the Ten Sefirot”).

That means that first we must find the light of faith by which we can discern where we are. Are we on the path that leads to the Creator or the path that leads away from the Creator?
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/25/24, Writings of Baal HaSulam “Introduction to The Study of the Ten Sefirot”

Related Material:
The Light of Faith
Accept Support from Faith
Feeling The Creator Is Called Faith

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