How does self-annulment practically take place so that we achieve the state of a spiritual embryo? Self-annulment is when I systematically, day after day, more and more, annul myself in relation to the upper force through the ten.
I try to follow all advice from Rabash regarding the work in the ten and hope that this will help me become passive toward the Creator. This means that no matter what state I am in and what I have, I want to annul myself in front of the Creator and be ready for any change.
I want only one thing: for the Creator to take care of me. I hand myself over to Him and wait for Him to start changing me and for the quality of annulment and devotion to the upper force to start growing in me.
Being inside the mother’s womb of the upper means that the upper can do whatever he wants with me from beginning to end, as it is said: “A King who puts to death and brings to life.” And I am ready for anything. This is called being a spiritual embryo, the biggest restriction of all that has ever existed.
This is the most important point that marks the entry into the spiritual world. I completely annul myself, in spite of all the obstacles inside and around, and transfer myself to the upper above them. After all, the main thing for me is complete devotion to the upper.
The main thing is to reach such a stage of self-annulment in relation to the upper force. All the other degrees are only different forms of this self-annulment because each time I must annul my desire to receive relative to the desire to bestow of the Creator. And then the form of His bestowal will take over my desire to receive, that is, the Creator will place the form of bestowal inside the form of reception. All the degrees up to the very end of correction: embryo, nursing, and maturity are essentially the same embryo, the same point of self-annulment, only expanded more and more.
I keep reminding myself with the help of my environment and my studies that I am asking the force of bestowal to clothe me and take over me. And I remain passive and want the upper force to rule and annul my force of reception. I am waiting for the Creator to clothe on me and give me new desires and new qualities—qualities of bestowal. Sometimes I feel that I receive such qualities and sometimes I don’t. One day is different from the other, one desire comes, then another, because we are bound to go through all the states.
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/4/21, “Ibur (Impregnation) and Yenika (Nursing)”