Question: How is it possible to integrate and connect these two opposites: on one hand, we are asking the Creator to be revealed, and on the other hand, we prefer to work in concealment?
Answer: I am interested in there being a concealment within which I will be able to discover the Creator. I accept this concealment as the correct condition, although I feel bad that I am helpless and at the point of exhaustion. My desire to receive doesn’t run after pleasures because it doesn’t feel them due to the concealment.
Essentially, what is the concealment? The concealment is the discovery of the Light of Hassadim. There is no empty place devoid of the Creator, there is discovery of His mercy, which I don’t understand and don’t want, and so I consider them as concealment, as darkness.
Around me everything is filled with Light, but I don’t feel it because this is the Light of bestowal. So instead of love, instead of a nice and good relationship, I discover and see the bad relationships, problematic pressures from all sides, enemies, haters, and informers.
This is all revealed because my desires are not corrected yet. This is mercy, but it is in concealment! If I correct myself, then I will see revealed mercy.
And until then, I don’t see any mercy and must believe above reason that the Creator is now sending me the means to discover Him. There is nothing worse than emptiness than a dead state. It doesn’t give me any possibility to awaken.
But the moment I begin to discover and feel that problems are appearing that press upon me from all sides, then this is already mercy. I only lack my own Light of Hassidim, its reflected Light, to discover this mercy of the Creator.
So there is nothing worse than when apathy dominates us and doesn’t let us do anything with it. This state is also given from Above to teach us that even the worst action is still preferable to all this indifference. We are not prepared to struggle with indifference.
All of our work is to see and to feel at every moment how we are awakened apparently through the negative things that we feel. But in spite of it all, we need to see the true Upper Light within the reflected Light that we create. We are in the Light of the Infinite, and the moment when the characteristic of bestowal is activated within us, all concealment dissipates immediately.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/2/14, Writings of Rabash