Question: Why can’t I hold on to the feeling of unity, to the “raspberry ball,” it keeps disappearing?
Answer: It doesn’t matter if it disappears. We should look at the benefit of our actions and if I can add effort I am happier that it is lost than if I have it, because what I already have is mine. If I stall even for a second in the state that I have achieved, it begins to rot.
The moment I begin to enjoy my state, I should understand that it’s an egoistic pleasure. If I enjoy the change of states, the derivative, which means not the speed but the acceleration, the increasing speed of the changes, then it’s the right pleasure. If I simply enjoy the state itself, then it’s already a shell.
Just like in physics, a body that moves at a constant speed which may be very high is considered to be standing still, and with regard to me, it isn’t moving. It can be considered to be moving only if its speed changes. So if your speed constantly grows, you can be glad, and it’s a good joy. It’s called “joy of a Mitzvah,” since you are constantly adding, which means that you are raising more and more desires to correction.
What’s more, you mustn’t enjoy in a constant state. You should advance like an old man who is bent, constantly looking for a deficiency in order to accelerate his speed.
Question: How can we hold the raspberry ball?
Answer: The raspberry ball can be held only by the group’s effort and with the help of the Upper Force. We must constantly play with this ball, like dough when baking matzah, which you cannot stop kneading even for a second, until you put it in the oven. It cannot be kneaded longer than 18 minutes: the nine Sefirot of the Direct and the nine Sefirot of the Reflected Light, and then immediately in the oven!
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/2/14, Lesson on the Topic: “9 Steps”