We are already starting to get acquainted with the states of spiritual work, although it is difficult to agree with them and get used to them. Every time we find it difficult to justify them because spiritual states come as if a person is born again. All of a sudden something happens to him and he no longer recognizes himself, is not familiar with the world in which he exists, does not understand his reactions, the influences that prevent or help him, enemies and friends.
A person gets confused. He wants to learn this new inner reality in which he finds himself, but cannot. It’s as if he got a new internal program and thus is not familiar with himself and with the world. All the reactions become new and completely unknown. Having found himself in a new world, he loses the previous conviction, the old attitude to everything.
We need to get used to this! However, it’s impossible to get used to it because every time you get into a completely new state. And the further a person advances, the more different the states are, alternating one after the other. Despite the increasing rate of change, the states themselves are becoming more contrasted and separated from each other.
The state that occurred only a day or two ago can be very different from the one today, and the person feels terribly confused and loses stability in the world, as if he completely disappears. His states become increasingly opposite and the speed with which they replace each other is growing. With every change in state there comes a time when a person does not understand what is happening, even though he already has great previous experience.
When a new state comes, it’s so different from the previous one that it erases everything that was in the past. A person in the next state is not familiar with anything, and thus he does not understand what is happening to him; it’s as if this happens for the first time. And in fact, this state does occur for the first time as a new information gene (Reshimo), a new reality is revealed.
It’s impossible to explain this to strangers because they will not understand. They do not understand how this person can suddenly know nothing and become confused. How is it possible that a great Kabbalist suddenly cannot solve, understand, and feel even such simple things that are available to an ordinary person? But this is our life, and so we gain, degree by degree, the spiritual ladder.
The main thing is to love these states and to be aware that they increasingly bring us closer to an understanding of the Creator, to His likeness. There is no better state than when a person feels confusion, darkness, helplessness, knowing that in the vessels with which he will soon be able to work, he will find the quality of bestowal, meaning, a more correct attitude to the state is revealed.
In fact, it’s in this way that concealment is taken from him. Once in my childhood I read a story about horses transporting carts underground in coalmines. They never went up and therefore were not used to sunlight. So, when they were old and no longer able to work, before emerging from the mine, a few bags were put on their heads. On the surface, the bags were gradually removed: first one, and after awhile, another, so the horse would become used to the light gradually.
Here we are in the same situation. Each time when our state changes, it’s as if another bag is removed. And it will continue until we get accustomed to the real Light.
If a person understands that the work is done on him so that he would become accustomed to the Light and could see the Creator and His actions in his world, then he accepts this work with gratitude. He understands that this work in the twilight, in the dark, is very valuable because it creates the new tools of perception in him for the discovery of the true spiritual world. All this work is called carrying out a commandment, and if a person is happy about this, this is called the joy of commandment.
From the Preparation for the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/3/13