Rising up and reaching a certain contact with the Light, I seemingly emerge from the water, appearing above its surface. And then the same Light begins to work on me and drags me back so I will find my new corrupt parts and desires.
Again I make my effort and rise to the top, and again the Light drowns me deeper. This goes on all the time until I complete all my corrections. So, there is no need to think that there may be something else: Our task is to try to constantly rise, come up, and the work of the Light is to drown us again. The same Light that we reach during ascent causes the next descent.
So, the Light and darkness interchange allowing us to work. Therefore, all our work is only to make an effort and try to swim to the top. And of course, we will get nothing else but falls and so on until the end of correction when the day comes in which there will be only the Light. That is, we raise ourselves and the Light will not have to drown us, but only fill our desires. Thus, we remain adhered to the Light in the state of the final correction.
The main thing is to remember that all actions come from a single force besides which there is nothing else, and only the Light acts. And even our efforts, due to which we raise ourselves up, are only possible because of the Light. Rising means to become more and more attached to the single upper force that carries goodness, having realized that everything comes from one source.
Everything that I see now is the clothing of the Creator in my desires, but only because of their corruption, I cannot feel Him in them yet. I need to try to reveal Him because this will give Him pleasure.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/20/13, Shamati #127 “The Difference Between Kernel, Essence, and Added Abundance”