The yearning of the person for spiritual attainment depends upon a group because it can lower or raise him. In accordance with this, Rabash writes that there is nothing more terrible than neglect, carelessness at work, when a person thinks to himself, “Not bad. It’s okay, anything goes.”
Control of a person over himself is established only through his choice of an environment, how much the group influences him is the degree he can control himself. Therefore the group needs to direct, to motivate, and to encourage him so that he will feel that he cannot go any lower than this level but can only rise, always continuing upwards. If the group is directed correctly, then this is easy.
The relationship regarding the friends must be gentle; we need to understand that each has his characteristics. We are not teachers and not critics of the character of one another in any way. For each there are characteristics that must remain in him, but in a corrected form. That is to say, one is stingy, another is a fool, and a third is lazy, jealous, and irritable and so on. It’s forbidden in any way to suppress these characteristics! It’s necessary only to help transform them. That is all!
It’s necessary to direct anger against my bad characteristics; jealousy is a wonderful characteristic if it’s aimed in the right direction. We always tell a child: “See how he is, learn from him.” That’s how we ignite jealousy in him. This is to say, we need to look at each other as a mother looks at her child, and see that there is only good in everything that leads to connection between people. And the opposite, all kinds of seemingly good characteristics can destroy humanity if they are not directed towards connection and unity.
Enter into all kinds of sources of psychology and philosophy, whatever you want, and you will see what kind of nonsense was invented around the characteristics of a person. For with them everything is considered relative to the characteristic itself, and not its usage. But if we direct this characteristic correctly towards connection and unity between people, then it’s possible to be convinced that there is nothing bad in us. Everything depends only on intention!
Certainly this should be reflected in our relationships regarding each other. There are no bad people, they are not corrected. For this sake we are together. Therefore we love each other.
If I discover some seemingly unbearable characteristic in someone and feel that I cannot get along with this, I immediately stop and begin to develop another side in me (in myself and not him), and then from this I receive spiritual powers. I recommend that you remember this! I am telling you this from my own experience. Try it!
Suddenly new powers appear within you. You begin to feel how the Creator gives you sources for forward advancement. Specifically instead of “turning it,” open yourself. Relax, behind it stands the Creator. Agree and that is all! You create within yourself an open new space full of spiritual energy because you have changed yourself.
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Two” 7/13/13, Lesson 4