My thoughts and my desires are actually not mine. Where does the real me begin? It is in the group that enables you to develop and nurture your desire seriously in a focused, practical manner. Here, I have the tools, the means that allow me to process and change the matter of my desire. By working on the desire with the help of my friends, I fulfill my only free choice.
However, if I don’t want that, there will be new troubles and afflictions, and eventually I will want it.
Question: Does that mean that I suffer until I give in?
Answer: Giving in is not the problem. The point is that I begin to understand that I should change my desire so that it will be like the Creator’s and that it is worthwhile. I am attracted to the same values and the right goal, and begin to enjoy it.
Then, there is a new phase, “That it is a pity that I do it trying to avoid the sufferings and to enjoy the Creator’s delight. I want to bestow totally, to love to the fullest, although I feel no response from the Creator.”
This is the spiritual path along which I change the egoistic values and discover, time after time, the limits of my freedom, my true level. As it is written, “You are called Adam [human], and not the nations of the world.” “You” refers to those who yearn to reach the Creator, which means to make their desire like His. Then, they are called Israel, which means Yashar El (straight to the Creator).
However, if I don’t want to resemble Him, I remain on the animal level in which all the changes, including the scientific technological progress, all are derived from Him and cannot be changed. Here, I am not independent. A person becomes independent when he becomes similar to the Creator.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/19/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam