Whose Shoulder Should We Cry On?

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: According to statistics, 90% of women convey all their secrets to their female friends, and 90% of men convey all their secrets to their wives. Women have the need to share their innermost feelings with a close friend. Is this right? Or does this situation need to be changed?

Answer: We don’t work with these kinds of problems or consider it necessary to involve ourselves in these areas of human communication and psychology because they don’t directly and strictly relate to the integration of society. People communicate with others in whatever way is comfortable for them. At the same time we never impose anything on them because communication on a natural, animal level doesn’t interest us.

What interests us is how much we are able to raise a person above himself towards the integration with others. We need to cultivate the feeling that they begin to experience in a group, the integral feeling that happens mainly between men, and this is what we need to pay attention to. All other questions concerning who shares with whom and what they share in their everyday lives doesn’t interest us.

Naturally men consult with their wives. As a rule a husband has an inner need to share with his wife and receive her approval. He has this need his entire life starting with his mother.

Women don’t have this state. When she is young she has a mother, and later only a female friend who is able to understand or somehow support her; she needs a shoulder to cry on because her husband doesn’t fully understand her.
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From a Talk on Integral Upbringing 3/4/12

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